The Zone of Desire: How to get in and stay

Desire is one of the most powerful forces in our world.  

It is defined as:

a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.

I must stress the “strong” part.  I believe there are a lot of things for which we can find a want.  Yet, few are strong in our own individual lives.  We may compare ourselves to others or be compared to others by the world but you can only have a few things that are most desired.  

The interesting thing about desire is that it tends to have some negative connotations.  I use desperation to explain this.  In the article, “The Four Stages of Desire: From Everything to One Thing”, Dr. Galen Guengerich says, “When life itself is uncertain, only one thing matters: survival.  Life becomes exceedingly simple, its purpose crystal clear.”  

We become desperate when our survival is questioned.  Survival triggers the deepest desire known to man.  If we don’t survive, we don’t know.  We don’t love, laugh, or experience joy as we know it on Earth.  

Limitations

There is a limited supply of desire, even if we identified a thousand things that we might want.  We wouldn’t be able to have a real desire for all of them.  The brain just can’t handle that many variables at once.  Everyone’s limits are different but I’ve have observed that three to five things seems to be average.  One of those is survival; leaving us with two to four things that we can truly desire at any given time.   Anything beyond that and you’re not actually desiring them.  You’ll burn out or you’re bound to fail in acquiring them.  It’s not likely that you’ll be in a good mental state if you fail to acquire something desired (if it’s survival, you’ll be without a mental state).  

Passion

Guengerich also says in his article, “People whose desires are few…have passion.”  He makes a distinction between passion and desire.  Passion is defined by Mirriam Webster as:

a strong feeling or emotion

This is a bit different than desire which is specific to something.   Passion is just the feeling.  I believe we all have different levels of passion.  It is those who can limit their desires whose passion is more well balanced.  The desires make up a smaller percentage of their passion.

The well-known advice related to desire is that we should not want too much.  

Thou shalt not covet…

The ninth and tenth commandments revealed to Moses on Mt. Sinai point to this concept.  It’s wise to limit one’s desires.  I think this is done by defining what is most important to you and concentrating heavily on ir.  The impactmaker movement seeks to identify positive causes in the world that we desire to assist or develop.  We can’t do our best if our passion is distorted by too many desires.  

The most important things in your life should not be defined by the world around you.  This even applies to philanthropic causes.  There are countless things and people to support in the world.  You could easily internet search or use social media to find a place to give your resources.  I believe the simplicity is valuable, but the mental effort should not be skipped.  I recently recorded an interview for Speaking of Impact with Sylvia Brown.  Her thoughts also make an appearance in my book which will be on presale next month and published in December.  Her ideas however, are relevant immediately.  She talked about how important it is to evaluate the causes that you support.  This is prudent advice. Especially when we are talking about one of the two to four things for which you have a desire.

Simplicity

When my business partner, Stacee, and I decided to start Initiate Impact, I thought that our biggest challenge would be to motivate ourselves to get things done.  I was wrong (not the first time and certainly not the last).  The hardest part was identifying the most important things and keeping that list limited.  

My creative brain got the best of me originally.  I felt that we could do ten to fifteen things in an innovative and attractive way.  There were more than fifteen things that we could do but not at the same time.  We had to slow down and curb our desires.  

We desire a modern purpose-driven financial management firm that helps improve the world around us.  I believe we have it.  There is a lot of work to do.  Yet, it’s a great feeling to have something that we work on every day for the betterment of society.  It’s definitely on our shortlist of desires.  But, it’s so locked in that it doesn’t even feel like it’s taking up “passion space”.  It’s right up there with survival.  It can kick in at any time but doesn’t seem to take up space.  It is in the zone of desire.

He’s on Fire!

Did you every play the video game, NBA Jam?

I

spent too many hours playing it.  It was in arcades and on home game consoles.  There was something about the fast paced, over-exaggerated gameplay and in-game commentary that was attractive.  Tim Kitzrow was the announcer and if a player hit two shots in a row he would say, “He’s heating up.”  If the player scored a third time in a row, Kitzrow would yell “He’s on Fire!”.  At that point, your player was unstoppable.  The game was addicting.  Kitzrow has since gone on to use his iconic voice for multiple other games.  He’s got a pretty cool job and he’s great at it.  

You could say that an NBA Jam player that is on fire is in “the zone”.  

It’s much easier to be successful and it’s also pretty fun for the gamer.

The Zone

It’s impossible to be in your ideal space every moment of the day.  However, we can seek our zone of desire as much as possible and I think the way to that is to isolate those two to four things mentioned above.  Could you imagine being “on fire” anytime you do to work or put effort towards your impact project?  I’m sure you would be a lot more productive and fulfilled.  Your zone is not limited as much by time as it is by the items.  Focus on the things that mean the most and you’ll find it.

Entering

It’s great if you have identified the things that mean the most to you and your zone of desire.  Next, you have to know how to enter it, stay, and when it’s ok to leave.  Leaving at times is important but it’s a study beyond the scope of this entry.  E-Impact 30 touched on hard work but sometimes you need a break.

In order to enter your zone of desire, you must let go.  It’s actually about shrinking the zone and making it more intense so that it stands out.   Every person has an amount of extreme mental effort that they can put forth.  It adjusts as our lives change but it does not change in a given period based on where our time is spent.  The fewer items that we desire the more effort put towards those that we do.  Survival will always have a piece of the pie.  One could argue that suicidal people have let go of their desire for survival and I’m not opposed to that line of thinking.  But, there is also evidence that suggests it’s an imbalance of chemicals or other desires.  

In any case, consider survival to be accessing a portion of your energy.  Then consider another statement from Guengerich.  “Whether through mediation or through adversity, we begin by asking what it is that we want.”  Survival is a matter of adversity.  Meditation is where you will find the other things.  

Take the time to consider your other desires.  Start with the things you like to do.  Ask yourself what would achievement in that area of life look like?  Then, move to the things that you are good at.  There will be some overlap.  Again, what would achievement look like?  

Finally, move to the things that other people think you are good at.  What does achievement look like to YOU (not them) with those things?  In this final portion we are calling on what others see (because sometimes we can miss what they see) but not soliciting their opinions.  In other words, don’t let them tell you what you should desire (this is one of the current societal problems), just let them help you identify strengths.  Let’s face it.  It feels good to have success.  This is why Game Genie sold a bunch of units to help people cheat on games like NBA Jam.  We want to win!  Your strengths are things at which you will likely win. 

Staying Power

It’s just like pick-up basketball.  Winners stay.  When you win in the zone of desire you are likely to stay there.  I am not one to believe that we can play mind tricks on ourselves.  However, we can make sure that we are exposing ourself to the things that will bring us fulfillment.

When you enter the zone of desire and you’re “on fire”, you might hear Tim Kitzrow yell, “Boomshakalaka!”  He would say that when a player would throw down a powerful slam-dunk.  It was such a satisfying experience for a gamer.  

Picture yourself executing the equivalent of a “Boomshakalaka!” slam dunk in your work or impact project.  It’s a great feeling.  

Enter the zone of desire by freeing yourself from what the world says you need.  

Let your passions lead you to things you want.  

Let your strengths keep you on fire.