Bob DePasquale

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I Appreciate You

There are certain phrases in life that hit harder than others.  



I experience an interesting battle on a daily basis.  Sometimes, it feels like I’m just a bystander and others it seems like I’m on the frontlines.



The battle I see is between meaningful messages and distractions.  E-Impact 71 is a good resource for understanding this.  I find myself either exerting extreme amounts of mental energy to find the meaningful messages or ignoring the messages altogether and just “being.”



I don’t know if the way I operate is the “right” way but I would urge you to have that time (outside of sleeping) where you ignore messaging.  You might call this meditation or prayer time.  Start with five minutes if you struggle to calm the mind down.  I learned this practice from the community of people at Spoke Folk (see E-impact 62 to learn about this ministry).  



I guarantee that your mind will feel better consistently if you take your special time (doing nothing) to care for it.



The Problem with the Impact Mind



I can hear it now:



“Okay, Bob.  You’re telling me to think about nothing.  I am not good at that.  There is much to be done in the world and I need to experience all its message so I can find my purpose.  You told me to do that!”



I respond with this:



“Hey Impactmakers! (Sorry, couldn’t help it). I agree.  We need to understand the message of the word and running from them is not the way to make an impact.”



The solution to our conundrum though is not to do more, or better, “sifting.”  These could be beneficial at times.  However, like many things in life (sports, wellness, business, faith, etc.), you get better outputs by providing better inputs.



It may be ambitious of me, but I think we can raise the quality of our daily stimulations.  At times, you should just “turn them off.”  Others, you need to “turn them up.”   



Combat the “problem” by surrounding yourself with as many positive messages as possible.



Interact with the right people, read the right books (Personal Finance in a Public World of course), have the right job, listen to the right podcasts (like Speaking of Impact - I have no shame today), read the right things (like this blog), and do what you can to lighten the load on your mental filter.  



The Inputs You Provide



I have always said that The Impactmaker Movement is not a solo show or a siloed series of one-man efforts.  It’s a team and even if you don’t know all your teammates, we still have one overarching mission that all of our impact projects support. 



We want to make the world a better place!



Hockey is a great team sport.

For my weekly sports example I go to hockey (or basketball I suppose).  It’s been since E-Impact 52 that we touched on this sport.





When someone scores a goal in hockey they often received the puck from a teammate before taking a shot.  The person that passes the puck to the goal scorer is credited with an “assist.”  In addition, the player who passed it to that person can also get an “assist”.  In other words, it’s possible to have twice as many “assisters” as there are goal scorers on a given play.




This is a pretty cool concept if you ask me.  When I was in college (20 years ago!?), my lacrosse coach would talk about “hockey assists” all the time.  In basketball and lacrosse, they don’t keep track of second assists but my coach valued the extra pass so much that players received excessive praise for second assists.  




Playing “Impact” Hockey




Ice hockey is certainly a contact sport.  Imagine if it was an “impact sport” or if impactmaking was a hockey sport.  What if we were throwing around second assists like it was cool?




I’m here to tell you it is cool. 




I would say that scoring an “impact goal” is the ultimate result - changing someone’s world.  An assist might be some sort of effort that supports our bigger goal - something you probably see to do if you are reading this blog.




Here’s the challenge (maybe a small criticism):




We need more second impact assists!




The way this is done is by setting up each other to support the greater goal.  We must build each other up, express gratitude, and encourage using gifts and skills to make the world a better place (the ultimate goal).




Easy Peasy




I think there are a lot of ways we can assist each other in the impact space.  Some happen to be pretty complicated (although necessary).  These type of things could be their own entry.  In fact, maybe you could be a guest author here on the blog and breakdown how you are providing an impact second assist (hit me up @bdepa on Twitter or IG).




For the purposes of this entry, I want to keep it simple and actionable.   Assisting each other doesn’t have to be complicated.  




Here’s the way to make it easy:




Express appreciation.




The Right Messages




I started off the beginning of this writing referencing the amount of messages we experience.  Many of those distracting messages tell us that we are inadequate or don’t have the skills to do something.  




I’m a realest and believe it is important to acknowledge our weakness (in order to pivot or work at them).  However, I am a strong believe that we ALL have gifts and skills to make the world a better place - meaning that EVERYONE can be an impactmaker.  I think it might be one of the only things in the world that literally anyone could be.  Pretty sweet, huh?





Many people need to be told this and need encouragement to express themselves in a positive way.





Jeremy always makes people feel appreciated.

One of my Twitter friends, Jeremy Ginn, is excellent at doing this and he does it in such a simple way. 




Jeremy often ends his tweets or audio messages with the sentence, “I appreciate you.”




How easy is that!?




The man is dropping impact second assists like a bad habit.  But ironically, it’s an amazingly good (and necessary in The Impactmaker Movement) one.




Keep it Simple




You’ve heard of the KISS method, right?




Keep it simple, stupid.  Admittedly, I probably shouldn’t call my readers stupid.  We should come up with a different acronym but KISS will have to do for now.




Jeremy has a way of doing this without losing any meaning in his messages.  Telling people that you appreciate them has some sort of magnifying effect.




It works in two ways and I think this is why it is so important for us.  




First of all, it doubles down on what you have to say.  It means, “I have strong conviction for something and I value you so much that I had to share it with you.”




Secondly, it’s the ultimate encouragement for purpose (the best second assist you can provide).




It’s like giving someone a license to make incredible impact.  




I heard someone once say in a trading and marketing context, “Let your freak flag fly.”  I hesitate to call us freaks, but we’re a bit different in a good way.  So, if you think about it, you provide tremendous encouragement by expressing appreciation for someone’s uniqueness and ability to make an impact.




Especially if you’re not in position to provide a more complex assist, keep it simple with Jeremy’s favorite phrase:




I appreciate you.




Building the Team




My vision for the impactmaker team is that we make it habitual to express appreciation.  It should not be taken for granted.  Unfortunately, I default to this.




I am guilty in getting caught in the “effort trap”.  It happens when you identify meaningful things and seek to address them as efficiently as possible.




We must constantly be recruiting and I believe our strongest tool for this is encouraging others.  




Keep working hard but don’t forget to encourage others to do the same.  Hard work toward something great is often deterred not by ability but by belief.




A good staff of a college sport works together to build the team.  The head coach runs the operation but everyone is involved in recruiting players.  We are no different.  All of us are capable and need to find other people to add to the cause.




One More




Atomic Habits seems to apply in many of our lessons but perhaps this is the most applicable.  In the book, author James Clear gives many examples of how good habits compound in effectiveness over time.  Not only do they become simple to execute, they are also better.




You can become a great impact recruiter just by practicing the appreciation habit. 




My college lacrosse coach referenced earlier drilled us into using the phrase “one more” during practice.  You might say it was a simple replacement for “I’m open!” or “Pass it here!”, but it had a bit more meaning.




It was some sort of acknowledgment that we needed each other, another pass was necessary, and assisting was prioritized.  In film sessions, it was easy to identify scenarios where we just needed “one more” to be successful.




Imagine if everyone expressed their appreciation for one more person, gave one more encouragement, and recruited one more person.  This would be a massive shift for good in the world.  




My Assist




I would be remiss if I didn’t close out this entry using my own suggestion.




I truly appreciate your time and attention every week.  It takes a bit of my time to write these pieces but it takes a whole lot more combined time for everyone to read them.  




There is no full proof model for impactmaking but we will be successful as long as we support each other. 




You have incredible power to change the world for the good and it keeps me going everyday.




Together, we can make the world a better place.




I…appreciate…you.