Bob DePasquale

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The First Ingredient of the Success Journey

I heard once that in order to experience success, you have to embark on a journey where the result is most likely failure.



The first time I heard this it hit me pretty hard - in a good way.   It made me realize that as much as I try to push for success, some things will just not work.  You have to “give up” on certain attempts to accomplish something and shift to another path.  



More recently, I’ve thought about this concept in an even more challenging way.  What if you have to give up, completely, on actual pursuits?  I think this is where I struggle.  I’m capable of admitting that the method of accomplishment can be wrong but not the goal itself.  



There aren’t many goals that I would say are bad strictly because I spend a lot of time developing them.  I don’t think I would ever pursue a goal I thought could possibly be a bad idea.  But alas, even my extensive preparations aren’t fool proof.



Preparation



Failing to plan is planning to fail.  Sorry for the additional cliché but this one is highly relevant.  I believe in this one a lot as you can probably tell.  The ability to be flexible is a powerful force in an impactmakers life but it does not mean you should rely on it.



Plan for those special times.

For my weekly sports example, I’ll point to a football team’s trick play that they prepare for the perfect moment in a game.  Unless it’s the Super Bowl, the team will only use it in a very specific situation.  They might practice it weekly throughout the season to make sure it’s ready to go when that special moment comes.  In other words, they have perfected their execution of the play but cannot rely on it consistently.  It’s for the most unique of situations.  





I don’t care how “go-with-the-flow” you are.  You still need to plan extremely well.  If the poop hits the fan (had to “drop” that cliché too), then your poise and ability to be flexible kick in.  




Preparation allows you to put your best foot forward (last one I promise) in a given situation.  If that foot fails, deal with it in the moment.  The best organizations and impact projects are able to do this consistently.  It normally takes a diverse mix of talent to handle different scenarios.




Change




One of the most memorable songs from my childhood is A Change Would Do You Good by Sheryl Crow.  I’m not entirely sure why but I think it’s simply the groove (I was a drummer back then and I didn’t even know it.) 




The song is more related to relationships but the message is simple.  Change is good and sometimes it’s someone else that notices it.  You can get caught up in your day to day and it’s hard to break habits.  




There’s also a concept called “loss aversion” that I’ll borrow from my industry.  When you buy into a stock or an initiative and despite its downward trajectory you refuse to give it up, you’re averting a loss.  It might be best just to take the loss and move onto something more productive.  




I don’t think people are afraid of change as much as they are afraid of the unknown.  When the fight or flight response kicks in, you’re going to change something in that moment because you are sure of something dangerous.  Suddenly, loss aversion isn’t so impactful.




It’s hard to see the necessity for change unless there is eminent danger so how can you create a similar effect without risking your life?




You change what you’ve been ineffective at improving.  




Identifying Failure




The first step to getting better is admitting failure.  Understand that it’s okay to fail but more importantly, that you have to acknowledge it when it happens.  The hard part is recognizing it.   Failure in the impact and business space usually isn’t something that happens quickly.  




Most driven impactmakers, entrepreneurs, and executives have the goal setting and planning mindset I referenced above.  There are some times when they take a big risk that could fail quickly but most of their efforts take time to manifest.  In that case, it also takes time to evaluate performance.  This means that they and their teams can easily develop habits and systems on the way to failing.  I know that’s harsh.




It’s important that an organization or movement recognize those points where the habits and systems, whether intentional or not, they’ve created are not improving its situation.  There needs to be a moment of shift when the recognition occurs.  




Now What?




When you’ve recognize it’s time for a shift, you should dive right in to the root of the failed process.  I have recommended numerous times in this blog to break things down into smaller pieces, take it slow, and simplify.  This might be the only case where I suggest taking it right to the critical point and cutting ties.  It’s a cold turkey approach to quitting an addiction.




In reality, not every member of your team is going to display drastic change immediately, but you as a leader need to put immediate focus on the most important piece of stopping what is incorrect.




Staying on the Path




I’ve described what’s best to do when you’ve identified that a specific habit has gone wrong or when you need to change the way you are pursuing something.  

Life is a beautiful journey.


It’s a great feeling when your poise shines and you’re able to avoid a bad (or worse) situation by engineering a shift in actions.  This is what happens most of the time.  



I recommend you do whatever it takes to keep your business or impact project on the path you initially laid out, especially if you’ve followed a detailed visioning, mission development, and planning process.  You’re likely organized like this if you’re a reader of this blog.



Raise your hand if details are important!



Switching Paths



Now to the challenging part of the entry.  I mentioned above about my inability to admit an entire mission is incorrect.  There have been a few shifts like this in my life.  I don’t expect anyone that plans well to have more than a few in an entire lifetime.  With that being said, here’s some life-changing thoughts.





You might be in a scenario where there needs to be a life shift.  These seasons of life are the hardest in which to apply some of the above concepts.  Loss aversion is as strong as it will ever be.



Some of the most well-known impactmakers on Earth have drastic shifts that the majority of people would struggle to initiate.  That’s the bad news.



The good news is that the majority of people CAN execute a drastic shift.  There’s a difference between doing and starting.   I guarantee you that making your change will be harder than executing it.  There are two main reason why I believe this:



  1. Stopping a routine is hard

  2. Starting something new is exciting and momentum builds faster



I have talked about the “plateau of latent potential” before.  It’s a concept that you may not realize progress until a certain point of proficiency.  Please ignore that in these situations.  It’s highly related to specific skills but doesn’t have to apply to the early stages of a new life’s focus.   There’s no plateau in visioning and planning.  



A Hard Stop



Have you ever had someone tell you they have to leave a meeting because they have a “hard stop”?



I try not to be that guy by alerting people in advance that I’ll be leaving at a certain time and use different language.  It screams, “Ya’ll aren’t as important as who I’m talking to next.”



I’m giving you license to apply a hard stop in a major change situation.  If you’ve had plenty of time to think about it, you’re either way late on execution or it’s not that good of an idea.  Tell whatever it is in your life that has failed that you don’t have any more time for it.  More important things will get your attention now.  



Stopping is hard but I’ve also encouraged seeking hard things before.  Therefore, the great thing about being in this position is that you are doing exactly that.  You are choosing your own hard thing before life feeds you something you can’t avoid (when fight or flight kicks in.)  



Choose the change in your life before something else does for you.



Momentum



Momentum is the fun part.  It will carry you through the hard change.  Once you’ve changed what’s failing, process is immediate.  The change itself is moving in the right direction.  It should be celebrated.



Go out to a fancy dinner with a loved one to celebrate your failure.  Yeah, the financial guy said it.  I think the failure should be celebrated as part of the success journey.  It’s your first action of momentum on your way to a success path.



Cooking Up Success



I love to cook and bake - mostly because I like to eat.  It’s satisfying to make a nice meal to enjoy with others.  I think eating in community itself should be celebrated despite what I suggested in the last section.  A good meal shouldn’t only come after other good things.  It’s good on its own.



It’s not easy to make good, healthy, food.  We have so many shortcuts in society that it’s all about ease and efficiency.  The best foods take time to rise, ferment, marinate, or soak.  It’s the same way with the best accomplishments of life.  Winning the lotto is exciting but not meaningful.  Fulfilling a life’s purpose is full of exciting moments but no moment can add up to the meaning it provides.



Success is a recipe that takes multiple tries, a wide variety of ingredients, and plenty of time.  



Ever found a recipe with a gross ingredient?  You say to yourself, “I didn’t know that was in there?”



That’s failure on your life’s success journey.  It can be disgusting when you think about it by itself.  But when you put it in the full recipe, it does something special that only it can do.



Don’t fear failure or you’ll leave it out of your recipe for success.