Bob DePasquale

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Pain Relief/Gain Creation

“No pain, no gain” they say.

I suppose it’s true but, who likes pain? I do! Seriously, I do.

It’s a special kind of pain though and it can’t be explained in short order. I’ve dedicated this entry to explaining my pain - well really your pain.

What is pain?

-physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury

Maybe pain isn’t the right word for The Impactmaker Movement. This definition indicates physical pain. There are some instances where physical pain could be an issue for the people we serve but the pain, or stresses, we deal with are mental and emotional.

These types of pain are handled differently than that of physical exercise. A trainer might tell their client to push through pain created by lactic acid to get the most out of the workout. “The role of lactic acid in the body” from Medical News Today can inform you more about the science behind this.

It may not be easy to seek physical pain when you work out but it’s easy to understand the benefits. You’re unwillingness to do it is related to a real feeling.

Stress

The pain we might experience doing impact work is better described as stress. You will have to expose yourself to some mental and emotional stress if you expect to make some progress.

Stress can become habitual.

There are many stresses that you may be so used to experiencing that you don’t even acknowledge them anymore. It’s just part of your day-to-day. This doesn’t make it a great practice but it’s habitual.

There’s a level of self-care that needs to be applied. See E-Impact 84 for more on this.

I’m okay with the pain/stress metaphor but just know that you rarely expect to put yourself in physical danger. Exceptions could be extraction, type of situations, or maybe rescuing someone on a moment’s notice.

Please don’t put yourself in physical harm’s way at the office.

Discomfort

I hesitate to bring in a third term but let’s group pain and stress into discomfort. Regardless of the situation, discomfort is needed for progress.

Gregoire Narcisse told us in Speaking of Impact episode 11 that you need to be comfortable being uncomfortable. The statement hit me at the time and stuck. We signed up for this when we said we’d try to help other people.

Directly related to this is something I heard recently. Tim Tebow said on Ed Mylett’s podcast that you should find something you’re willing to suffer for.

Think about that:

You will make a bigger impact in something you are willing to suffer for than anything you aren’t.

Discomfort is suffering. There are certainly different levels of this and we all have different thresholds but you can maximize yours by finding the right thing(s).

You’ll become comfortable with the discomfort when you’re in the right space.

Where Are You?

Many of us go through long periods of life where we don’t know our location. I don’t mean physical location, either (back to the physical or mental question). Life is moving so fast that we are playing along with everyone else’s games and chasing the related goals.

You’ll find plenty of discomfort in these times but none of them lead to impact. You end up overcoming but not advancing.

You have to know the headspace you are in and know how to move if needed. My challenge is that you are often not in the ideal space.

Identifying the Space

There is a three-step process to recognizing what space you are in.

  1. List your biggest concerns and goals in the moment. Don’t spend too much time thinking about this. What comes to mind right away? That’s what is top of mind and most telling. My experience shows that most people will have about ten items.

  2. Determine how many of those items you have previously spent a significant amount of time analyzing. As a side note, Tebow talks about living a life of significance (over meaning). All of the items on your list will have meaning (otherwise you wouldn’t have thought of them right away). Only some of them will have significance in the world (hence the time you spent on them).

  3. Make any connections between all of the items you can. This might take some additional time and should not be just the immediate thoughts as in Step One. These connections are what define your headspace. The stronger the connections, the stronger the space, and the more connections the more convicted you are. If the strongest connections are with the things from Step Two, you’re likely in a “significant” headspace. If not, change is advised.

Conviction can be good or bad.

You could be strongly convicted that many things on your list are important but they could have you in a distracted headspace that lacks significance.

You could also be in a place where there aren’t a lot of connections and limited conviction as a result. You’re just working on narrowing things down. This can be an exciting situation - not ideal, but okay.

The items are the most important.

Changing Spaces

Don’t jump to conclusions about yourself. Changing spaces isn’t always needed and it’s definitely not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a great thing. It’s a sign of growth and impact.

I have three other steps for you once you decide you want to make a change. They are somewhat the opposite of the others.

  1. Spend as much time as you need to think about where you want to be, who you want to help, and the related goals. Develop as many ideas as you can. Don’t hold back.

  2. Identify which of these items you are most interested in and most qualified to address. We all have great ideas but which ones are the easiest to execute? Think of it like some good business ideas that you have to choose from. The most easily completed is the one to start with.

  3. Choose your top three things and connect three or fewer of the others to each of them. This means a max of 12 things remains. These are the connections that you’ll need to suffer for. If you’re not, it’s likely you’ve chosen the wrong things from the list from Step One. You didn’t put that much time in and completely miss the most important. Perhaps some of your current headspace is having an effect. Keep at it.

It’s okay to have a massive list left over.

Those extra things give you a great headstart on the list next time you need to pivot. Some may never get addressed.

It’s a great feeling when you have the right “stuff”. You’ll know it.

Where You’re Going

There’s nothing better than being “in the zone”. It’s a feeling like you can conquer anything. You know there will be tough times but you’re not afraid. You are happy to find them because you know their significance.

Pain/Stress/Discomfort

You don’t have to like the discomfort. You just have to be okay with it. The reason why you would be okay with it is because the results are impactful.

You shouldn’t want the discomfort for the sensation. That’s infinitely unhealthy. What is incredibly healthy is overcoming discomfort and finding comfort on the other side. This is pain relief and gain creation.

The Strongest Bone in My Body

This is not my collarbone.

I took a rough spill on asphalt on December 1, 2021. Read about it in E-Impact 81.

Luckily, I was able to see an orthopedic surgeon the next day. It was quickly determined I had broken my collarbone. He assured me when looking at the x-ray that the bone would heal and be stronger than it was prior to the break. This was hard for me to believe but what do I know about broken bones?

It took a while and some painful moments but the bone is now healed, I have my strength back, and if I ever fall like that again, it will break in another place.

I didn’t intend to break my clavicle but once I did, I intended to deal with the pain and do the best rehab I could. I knew I’d be better for it.

The Greener Grass

They say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side (It’s greener when you water it). It isn’t in many contexts. However, in this one it is.

Overcoming pain you’ve decided to take on is powerful. My clavicle injury is a great metaphor because I experienced an issue (the injury) and then had to choose to experience additional pain (the rehab) to fix it. There were one hundred percent selfish reasons in this case but I still had to do it.

The great thing about generosity and the impact space is that we are willing to suffer for others. It is in this process that we find significance.

You created the gain. This is why you feel fulfilled. It’s an accomplishment you’ve identified and reached.

The Gain

The greener grass is the gain. It’s a better situation for people in need and yourself.

You work to relieve discomfort and there’s a comfort on the other side like no other. I suggest you concentrate on the gain that you have to create in those challenging times. There will always be sources of pain (or whatever you call it) so make sure you put yourself through the pain that when relieved, will create the most significant gains.