Bob DePasquale

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The Calling on Your Heart

The Impactmaker movement is a bunch of people who feel called to do something great.  

Interestingly, that calling has to come from somewhere.  I believe there is something spiritual to our desire to help others.  It’s part of who we are.  So, it begs the question, why?

2 Things

I think of two things: a necessity and a community.

Necessity

The simple reason that we feel called to help others is that they feel as though they are in need.  I’m sure you’ve felt yourself on both sides of this spectrum - and it is indeed a spectrum.  There are many levels of need and callings to fill a need.  

We’ll never be able to fully comprehend how everyone and all the levels fit together but it’s safe to say that when you feel called, it’s because someone feels a need.

Community

The second thing, community, is more complex.  It’s not just a help-helper relationship (with varying levels).  It’s an ever-changing and growing set of interactions that can’t be predicted or tracked no matter how much artificial intelligence (AI) there is out there.

It could be easy to say we should all just “go with the flow” and let opportunities come to us.  Hear the calling and be willing to help.   This isn’t bad but I’d argue it isn’t sufficient.  There is an extra effort that an impactmaker has to put in.  It’s not enough to wait for a strong or “high-level” calling. 

Manifest

This entry is starting to remind me of the show “Manifest”.  It’s about a mysterious airplane that was lost but years later it’s passengers were found.  The passengers have “callings” and many are trying to figure out what happened to them.  It’s a bit sci-fi, a bit drama, and not a lot of humor.  I must give credit to the writers and producers of the show.  It takes quite a bit of effort and creativity to put this type of storyline together.

The show could be worth your time for some entertainment but it’s definitely not an inspiration for what I’m typing about.

My Calling

I mentioned above the spectrum of need and callings.  It’s important to understand that different seasons of life will bring different feelings for you.  There will be times when you are rather content and don’t feel a strong pull of either type.  There will also be times when you feel desperately in need or almost forced into service.  It’s part of life and as I also mentioned above, divinely designed.

Radio

I love broadcasting.

I spent a couple of years working in radio out of graduate school (it’s all about the “U”.)  I loved the work and when I was growing up, I always thought if I wasn’t playing sports as an adult I would be talking about them professionally.

It’s amazing how things change in life.  

Consequently, it’s also amazing how things don’t change.  I still love playing and talking about sports (I just don’t do it as a career.)

My Professional Shift

My professional shift began when a recruiter came to the school where Mrs. DePasquale teaches.

He was looking for potential financial advisors!  What!? At an elementary school?  

While we should be teaching finance better in school, I’m not sure that’s the place where I’d look for career changers.  He was determined thought and asked some ladies in the office if they know of anyone who might want to work in finance.  I can hardly imagine their reaction as being excited.  Either way, he pressed them a bit and one person said, “Mrs. DePasquale’s husband is a nice guy.”

I appreciate the kind words but am I really a nice guy?  And what does that mean for a financial career?

They gave him my wife’s phone number and he called her immediately.  She was teaching at the time and did not pick up.  She asked me to return his call later that day and I did.  

John Weibel and I had a nice conversation that evening.  I thanked him for his efforts and ended the talk by saying, “I’ll call you back in six months.”  I’m not sure why I said that to this day but I think I was just trying to get him off the phone.

The Call Back

About six months had passed and it was the holiday season.  I had a few days off, which was rare during my radio career, and so I thought to myself, “My parents taught me to be a man of my word.”  I called John back with that in mind.

I may have been the first person to ever have called him back like that.  He was surprised and to be honest, I don’t think he even remembered me.  This was either the sign of a great recruiter that was spraying his recruitment shots everywhere or maybe I wasn’t that memorable.  

John eventually figured out who I was.  I assume he pulled me up in some kind of CRM (customer relationship management) system.  We met for dinner in short order.  John wined and dined Mrs. DePasquale and me and before you knew it, we were meeting with other people in John’s organization. 

I took the job within a few weeks and made my transition into the financial world.

I never lost my love for broadcasting though.  Speaking of Impact and Twitter Spaces still scratch the itch a little.  I suppose it’s enough to keep it “irritating”.  That irritation is not as strong as calling though.

It’s been almost fifteen years and people still ask me why I made that change and there are two reasons.  The technical reason is that John and his colleagues made me feel like I could do more for people advising them about their money than I could doing what I was at the time.  The deeper reason was that I felt called to make a difference in a way of thinking.  

My Story

Episode 146 of Speaking of Impact was released last week and outside of Episode 1 and 25 of Speaking of Impact, it spent more time on my story and how generosity changed my life. You can listen back to those episodes or you can check out the media page for other shows on which I’ve shared the story.

Generosity is important to me because it changed my life.  The main reason why I left the radio conglomerate I was working for to go into the financial world was I felt there was a problem.  I experienced some questionable practices with money and how my employer was treating its customers (advertisers).  It was truly about the money.  

I thought going to work in the financial world was like going into the belly of the beast.  It was my equivalent of going into the war zone as a soldier.  

Calling and Purpose Can be Different

I expected to get into a financial career full of battling fraudulent people and companies and trying to “force” people to be generous.  I have a tendency to seek conflict.  I wouldn’t call myself a fighter but where there is conflict there is opportunity for impact.

To my pleasant surprise, I found that the vast majority of people are nice and want to be generous to others.  

The problem is that many people feel unequipped, incapable, and not qualified to be generous.  This was a painful realization for me for two reasons:

  1. I thought I had made a terrible mistake and there was no battle to be fought.  I should have never left the media industry!

  2. I felt helpless.  I couldn’t change that many people’s worlds in a reasonable amount of time.

I’m not one to make hasty decisions otherwise I may have bailed on the financial career and scurried back to broadcasting with my tail between my legs.

Thankfully, I’m still here in the financial world and the main reason is resilience.  I struggled for the first half of my career.  It was tough to do things I was hired to do, preach generosity, and hear continuous worries and complaints about things preventing people’s ability to give of themselves.  

I had a purpose but I didn’t feel called.

I began to realize that the two reasons above were not actually reasons for despair but reasons to stick with my decision and try to change some things.  

Over the years I have been in the world of finance I’ve learned about money for sure, but I may have learned more about psychology.  

There is a war to be fought but it’s not as much of a legal battle as it is psychological.  

And…

I am not helpless because generosity is contagious and everyone is capable of catching the bug.

A Generous Calling

What’s your calling?

My finding the calling to spread the joy of generosity was not a passive experience.  It was an active pursuit that took a life-changing period at the age of eighteen and years of contemplating my professional purpose.  I had to search for what was calling me.  

I consider myself lucky to have been called when I was because even though technology was affecting our lives, it wasn’t as much as it is now.  There are so many messages out there that it can be hard to identify what is useless, what is malicious, and what is fruitful.  

It’s imperative that you actively seek a calling and take some chances when you think you have a lead.  Also, as mentioned, there are different seasons and spectrums, you never really can rest assured that something has morphed.  Always keep your eyes peeled for other opportunities and callings.  

I sometimes worry that I might have missed or may miss another calling in the future.  I suppose it keeps me on my toes but there are days when I am a bit stressed.

Your Heart

The best way to deal with this type of stress and to ensure you recognize callings is to feel your heart.  I was going to say “listen to your heart” but it doesn’t speak.  It beats and you can feel it.

This is not some nebulous, feel-good concept either.  It’s spiritual and it’s real. 

The body reacts to things in special ways and if you pay attention you find those that stand out.  When something makes your heart rate jump or makes you feel something in your chest, it’s a good sign that it means more to you than other things.  Think of it as a physical feeling from a spiritual source.  

The things that make your heart react are things that are special.  It doesn’t always mean that you had a calling in that moment.  It means you may be called to something greater regarding the impetus of your heart’s reaction.  

I had some moments when my heart was affected while working with people and their finances. 

You will have times when you notice your heart’s reaction to a situation.  Lean in and over time, you will feel a calling (or another one if you have already).  

The calling on your heart is a signal sent because someone is in need.  Don’t miss it for lack of effort.

You must be active in addressing the necessity and building a community of generosity.