I’ve been part of my fair share of referral training over the years. It’s a mainstay for most sales organizations. Every company wants to replicate its best customers. But what if we thought about it as a tool for the referrer?

Making a referral is a way to gain credibility.

People Don’t Want to Risk a Problem

One of the main points I “learned” during referral training was that your existing customers will be concerned about their own reputation. I’ve found this to be overwhelmingly true. Referral training did not fail me in this sense.

It’s easy to understand why people would be hesitant to refer their friends to their salesperson.

What if something goes wrong?

What if it’s a bad fit?

What if the two parties don’t get along?

These are the most pressing questions. Less popular ones include:

What if I”m giving up a part of something special?

What if I’m wasting my salesperson’s time?

What if my salesperson cannot help them?

There are a whole host of concerns that could arise and I suppose this is why referrals require training but things could be simplified by concentrating on the credibility of the referrer.

People Want to Be Trusted

Ever seen one of those ads that says “Your trusted source for ____?”

I hate ‘em. Seriously. Strong word, but I do.

You can’t exclaim credibility.

No one should trust anyone else strictly because they claim to be trustworthy. Even worse would be telling someone to trust you. And I don’t mean when your good friend or family member says, “Trust me!”

Imagine if someone off the street said that to you. It’s not likely you’d put some blind trust in them to do anything important for you.

If people are so worried about losing credibility with a bad referral, why don’t they consider how much they could gain from a good one?

Think about how good it would be for your reputation with the person you hired and the new customer. Note that this concept applies whether money is changing hands or not. In other words, you can refer people for acts of generosity or volunteer work too. It could be for employment or many other things.

Most importantly, it’s a way to show you’ve made good decisions in the past - a much better way than telling people to trust you. In fact, I’d argue that telling someone and nothing else could actually hurt you. It seems disingenuous and could turn people off.

Our Home

One of the best referrals Mrs. DePasquale and I ever received was for our realtor. We’ve had the pleasure (I use that word loosely) of being involved in a couple of different real estate transactions.

We bought a townhome about a year after being married and it was a stressful process. We didn’t move far but finding a place in the right price range and understanding the process was quite a project. Luckily, we were in a pretty good position to purchase and we didn’t need too much counsel (it was also a much different economic situation, and qualifying for a loan was easier).

Our second purchase and first single-family home was a lot different. We needed help selling the townhome and navigating a challenging market for buyers. Inventory was slimmer and neighborhood options were far and few between. We needed an experienced realtor in the South Florida market to help us buy and sell.

We called Bob Cable. Not only does he have a great name, but he also knows his stuff. Our good friends that had purchased a home in the area not too long before us gave us his information. There was no question about who they would refer to us when we asked. They were just trying to help us out and had no intention of building credibility with us but they did.

There are two ways our friends gained credibility with us:

1. They gave us someone who was a good fit with our personalities.

2. They showed us that they were capable of making a good decision by hiring Bob.

You know how many things there are going on not related to the financial transaction when selling one home and purchasing another if you’ve ever had to do this.

The Connector

I’ve had a few people on different occasions tell me they like to be “the connector”. That could be interpreted in many different ways but in this context, it’s someone who loves to refer people to others. It doesn’t have to be a business scenario and it certainly does not require referral training. It requires a good memory (or note-taking system) and a desire to help people form meaningful relationships.

One person that I have always respected for his ability to connect people was my former pastor, Tim Hartner. This guy loved to serve in that capacity and saw relationships as a vital part of his “business”.

Pastor Tim, or PT, always made it his business to learn someone’s name.

Knowing a name is such a powerful way to show someone that you care for them. PT would always address people by their name and on the rare occasion he couldn’t recall someone’s, he’d simply ask someone else. This is relevant because it was related to his desire to connect with people.

Pastors are in a unique position to meet a lot of people from their community. They are often connected with political leaders in their town, law enforcement, medical people, and other professionals, not to mention their congregants. They can be the great connector with the proper intention.

More than a DM (or E-mail)

The real connector does more than send a group direct message on LinkedIn. Over my decade and a half of being in business, I’ve received plenty of these or co-copied e-mails with an introduction.

My referral training from years past has also taught me about the ineffectiveness of a single message for referrals. I was given all kinds of ways to warm up a connection. You can give the referrer a framework, offer to set up an event (like a dinner), show them a video, or even give them the exact words to say.

The fact is that the situation doesn’t matter. A single message is just not enough. People are busy and bombarded with messages all day long. With incredible timing, I just got a WhatsApp notification as I was typing. I’m so tempted to check it (you’ll never know if I actually did, haha).

Just a Conversation

It’s more than a message but not much more. I just returned home from a short conference in the District of Columbia (DC). I made some great connections. Some were even referred.

I know that I have to follow up with these people with a message but what’s most important is that I remember the conversations we had. Those connections are useless if I don’t.

I’ve found that conversations are the catalyst for working relationships. It doesn’t matter how good your marketing, social media content, or fundraising is, the greatest work gets done when people talk with each other.

I’ll need to have additional conversations with my connections to ensure things move forward. Interestingly, one of the gentlemen I met there was truly a connector (and he never called himself that). I noticed him making the rounds and even had a deeper conversation with his son who was complimentary of his father’s energy.

Using it For Good

A generous connector is someone who can provide plenty of referrals with a positive impact-focused mission. Not that being a connector for business is a bad thing. It’s a great thing and can easily be part of a meaningful mission.

Talk with people for more than what they can offer you. Think about three other key things:

• What you can offer them (should be obvious)

• What they can offer others (a typical part of a networking conversation)

• What others can offer them (what often goes overlooked)

Remember these conversations and have a documentation process. There’s no way you can remember all of these things for multiple relationships. I find it best to have a simple profile for everyone you meet that includes contact information, industry, date of last contact, method of last contact, and notes. A simple spreadsheet will do the trick.

Why?

You want people to believe you are capable of making sound decisions. It’s not complicated at all. I find this to be especially important in the impact space because there aren’t any “industries” in that world.

We are starting to see some more non-profit degrees and higher education but nothing specific.

The business world allows you to find expertise in a given area and it’s not quite as important for you to be known for general effective decision-making. It’s still meaningful though so don’t ignore this entire entry. I recommend you gather the necessary skills to be successful and find professional work and then work on your credibility beyond that area.

There is an extra incentive when working on impact projects to be known for how well you decide. Referring other effective impactmakers to people in need will do wonders for your efforts. People will know your mission and look to support you in the way you have supported them. Every time you make a meaningful connection beneficiaries will note that and be likely to think of you when the time is right.

Double down on your best decisions by referring other people to great professionals you’ve worked with. Share the love.