It is March (or will be when you read this).  Something new is here.  

I have mentioned that change is good.  It provides an opportunity to learn and make a difference.  Few great things last forever.  I consider change the pursuit of the next good thing.

Faith is defined as:

complete trust or confidence in someone or something

What are the things that you have faith in?  I often ask myself this question.  It provides great insight as to what is happening in my life.  It helps me take inventory of the things that I have going on.  It also gives me a chance to honestly assess my habits and activities.  

I have seen many habits come and go over the years.  Some have gone because I intended them to, and others just faded.  In the same light, some new habits have slowly developed and some have been created quickly.  

Approval

It feels good to be congratulated, celebrated, thanked, or just be told that you did well.  But, we seek these things too much.

I often call on Psychology Today for information.  This week, I read, Why Do We Constantly Seek the Approval of Others?, by Hannah Rose.  It’s a strong piece encouraging us to not seek validation from other people.  It puts us in a dependent situation and also puts a lot of burden on our loved ones to always make sure that we feel approved.  

I love some good thought provoking questions like these in the text:

• Do you feel fear before telling someone in your life about a decision you’ve made?

• Do you change your actions based on fear of how another may react?

• Can you identify anything in your life that you regret doing or not doing, realizing in hindsight that it wasn’t aligned with what you wanted?

• Do you struggle with setting boundaries, being direct, or communicating truthfully?

• Do you inadvertently lie or omit the truth when speaking to someone, due to fear of their response or opinion?

• Do you let others’ opinions dictate what choices you make?

I’ll let Hannah dive deeper into these.  But, I will note that they are not that dissimilar from my exercise of asking myself what I have faith in.  Faith in the things in my life often yields a “no” answer to the questions.   

I believe that frequent assessment of what one has faith in will lead to earlier recognition of any inconsistencies that there are in life.  In other words, we should ask ourself these types of questions more because it’s less taxing to handle small issues that we catch early than big issues that have been festering.  

It’s a terrible downward spiral to rely on approval for more and more things in life.  It leads to manipulation whether conscious or not.  

We call our loved one’s loved because they care about us.  They want us to be happy.  Many of them would sacrifice their own well-being for ours.   

Hannah says in her article:

Seeking out opinions and advice is one thing, especially when it’s solicited, but attempting to manipulate loved ones to support our choices is a completely different story.

There is a point that your solicitation of opinion becomes a desperate plea and eventually a manipulation for support.  We need to avoid this at all costs.

Self-Discovery

It is more important to understand yourself, then to have approval from others.  I wrote about impressions in the December 15, 2020 E-Impact Blog Entry.  Think of approval as feedback on the quality of your efforts, but understanding of yourself as the guide to what you should be doing.  This is not easy, but it enables you to faithfully put forth an effort toward what means the most to you.

Try asking yourself what you have faith in?  I think this will help you understand yourself more.  

Habits are powerful.  I suggest reading Atomic Habits by James Clear.  He does an excellent job of explaining how habits can change your life.  They can be good or bad.  

An example of a good habit, is to Give Thanks Daily (the October 6, 2020 E-Impact Blog entry).  This is the opposite of seeking impressions.  

Unfortunately, the brain doesn’t seem to differentiate between good and bad habits.  Synapses form no matter what to help the brain process things faster and more efficiently. 

The self-discovery process enables you to habitually evaluate your mental state and make sure that you are engaging in the things that mean the most to you, or staying faithful to yourself (which is paramount).

Servanthood

 Read Servanthood:  The Essence of Leadership on Holiness Today.

My favorite quote from the text is:

Jesus served His followers to show how the leadership pyramid would be clearly turned upside down.

Jesus led by serving.  This is most certainly counterintuitive in the business space, and also in the impact space.  Theoretically, a leader should be able to make more of an impact by telling a lot of people what to do, right?  It doesn’t work like that.  

People are motivated by action.  Lessons are indelible (December 1, 2020 E-Impact Blog entry) through experience.  Leadership requires a lot of doing, and a little telling.  

Servanthood is actually a characteristic of leadership, and not subordination.  

Who’s In Charge Here?

In The Bible, Mathew 25:21 says:

"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!’

It seems that the better we are at something the more responsibility we have.  In present day, this often means a higher wage, and less time for oneself.  These two things are not for the faint.  

Be careful for what you wish.  We have addressed seeking approval, but you must also be aware of what comes with even legitimate support.  Most organizations and leaders are looking for other trustworthy people.  They will go to great lengths to find and keep them.

You may be enticed by money, travel, or other luxuries in order to acquire your services.  There is nothing wrong with this.  But, you must understand what the role is.  Make sure that you are staying faithful to yourself before being faithful to anyone or anything else.

Doing Well

• Know what means the most to you.

• Know what you are best at.

• Know how you can execute what you want to do.

 

You’ll do well if you have these three things down.  You can’t go wrong with the combination because fulfillment lies in the middle of the triangle.

The Faithful Servant

You know how to do well.  Now, how does this apply to the impact that you desire?

Making a positive impact requires taking action while applying the principles of “doing well”.  The most successful impact projects are not measured by numbers or followers.  They are measured internally.  Your impact project may help a million people, but it’s still YOUR project.  

Your diligence will ultimately determine the success of what you want to do.  You will need to stay consistent as I urged in the September 8, 2020 E-Impact Blog entry.  You will need to show those around you what it takes.  You will have to lead by example (like Jesus).  You may gather attention, but this doesn’t change your efforts. 

You are a Servant Leader.  

You are faithful.  

The Food Bank

I have had the pleasure of serving at a few food banks over the years.  They each have a different mission, location, group of people to serve, and process.  However, they all have a one thing in common; a purpose.  

Food banks have taken on quite a responsibility.  Humans have to eat to survive.  This is nothing against any other mission oriented organizations, but food is vital.  The purpose to feed hungry people is life saving.  There seems to be an extra sense of urgency.

One of my food bank experiences sticks out to me.  There were about 10 of us that traveled in different vehicles to a downtown Ft. Lauderdale, FL building with a small parking lot.  Upon arrival, we were told to drive around to the back of the building where there was more parking and a warehouse type shed (it wasn’t fancy).  

I expected to be passing out food for a few hours.  Or, maybe even cooking some.  I love to cook and the thought of preparing food for hundreds was exciting.  However, I was told we were not there to cook.  We were there to organize.  Apparently, the homeless and hungry population had been increasing and things were getting pretty backed up and cluttered.  

The gentlemen that greeted us was very thankful we had arrived.  He had prepared a schedule for us and once we were all accounted for, he immediately began describing the complexity of what it was they did there.  I was thoroughly impressed by all of the things that went into actually serving food.  After that, he described what we were going to do.  Most of it involved moving things around, taking inventory, and reorganizing much of the warehouse.  There was a lot of physical labor.  

Things were pretty well organized and I had assumed that the Executive Director, or leader of some sort, was the man that had been talking to us.  He seemed to know everything going on and had quite the plan for us.  He had directed us to a room filled with packaged foods where we began sorting and labeling.  

We were working pretty hard for about forty-five minutes with another group of people (this was way before the pandemic of 2020) and it was pretty warm.  It seemed that sorting the foods wasn’t really providing anymore space.

One of the men in the other group was really working hard and looked like he needed a break.  Being the socialite I think I am, I struck up a conversation with him.  I offered to bring him some water.  He was sweating and I thought it was a nice gesture.  He said “yes, thank you” and so I fetched some water for the two of us.  He didn’t seem like he intended to take much of a break, but maybe he felt bad because I was asking him questions.  He seemed to know a lot about the food bank.  

I ask him, “Do you all volunteer here a lot?”

He said, “They do”, while pointing at some of the other people, “I work here.”

I was totally surprised and asked him what he did.

He was Executive Director!  He was the guy that was actually in charge of the whole operation.  He was on his hands and knees underneath tables, sifting through packages, and perspiring beyond belief.  

He was a Servant Leader.

How could you work or volunteer there and not be inspired?

We can all be servant leaders.  Start today.