I am NOT a handyman.  

I AM determined though.  The amount of things I have done around the house to fix the things up over the years can’t be counted.  I better slow down before I get in trouble with my wife who will most likely be proofreading this in a bit.  

Honestly, I haven’t done that many things around the house outside of some lightbulbs and maybe tightening a screw or two.  I know my place.

Service to Others

I responded to a tweet about a month ago with “on mission trips”.  That doesn’t seem like to far-fetched of an answer for me.  But, the question I was responding to is what might surprise you.

It was:

“Where do you meet friends?”

My primary reason for going on mission trips is absolutely not to meet friends (or my wife).  However, you have to be open to unexpected things.

Yes, I met my wife on Spoke Folk.  See E-Impact 62 for more about this organization.  

I was dragged on this trip in 1999 by my friends and forced by my parents.

Years after that I had a chance to take a trip to Nicaragua with Habitat for Humanity.  Listen to Speaking of Impact episode 28 for more on this non-profit organization that helps provide decent housing for people across the world.  This trip’s primary purpose was also not to make friends but ultimately found me another great group of people.

There’s nothing like service and sacrifice to bring people together.  The people that are closest to me in my life are people that I have worked with (very challenging work) for the benefit of a third party.  

Bob the Builder

I mentioned earlier that I am not very handy.  Construction is the last field that you would see me in.  Ironically, I have thrived in small, remote communities building homes for people.  

One reason for my experience in mission based construction work might be because technology and the complexity of the work is not as advanced.  It’s also that the necessity to accomplish something within a community is a powerful force.

I am not a builder and I am definitely not an architect - in the literal sense at least.

I do however, try to build sustainable relationships - not perfect, but lasting.

A good architect doesn’t have to burn down a house every time they want to build a new one.

Building a Network

We had a whole podcast episode with a real networking expert (HR Heidi Torres on Speaking of Impact episode 77). 

I must defer to Heidi when it comes to networking and finding a job.  Where I excel is making connections between otherwise unfamiliar people and getting to know people on a personal level.  

Impactmaking is not about recognition, metrics, or celebrations.  It’s about people, whether a single person or a group of one million.  It’s absolutely necessary to get to know fellow humans.

At the risk of flashing my ego, I believe it’s a special skill to move past the business and superficial social media layer of people to unveil their personal self.  Building a well connected, real network takes time and practice.  

I wish I could tell you that all you have to do is go on a service trip.  But, remember what I said about unexpected things?  I can’t guarantee if you go in search of great friends and connections that you’ll find them.  In other words, you should act in service to others but it doesn’t have to be in the ways I have and it’s more important to be of service to people as a lifestyle than on an isolated trip.

There you go.  That’s my networking secret.  Serve.

The Next House

You’ll want to continue building after you complete the first “house” of your network (or every house for that matter).  It’s important to know that we all have a capacity.  You must not over commit yourself only to find your previous relationships crumble.  

A strong network is only as good as its foundation; just like a house.

It’s the time of year that the National Football League is concentrating on all its prospects for the upcoming draft.  The NFL Scouting Combine is definitely a guilty pleasure of mine.  As much as I like breaking down the players, it’s way more important for general managers and coaches to be evaluating the talent.  

Just a short time ago, teams were making their coaching changes as the season had just ended.  During that time, there is much talk about coaching “trees”.

A coach’s tree, is his (or hers, as we are finally getting some female coaches in the league) list of coaches that have worked under him prior to branching (pun intended) out and taking better jobs.

It is vitally important that coaches who are moving up that ladder don’t burn bridges (what a cliché laden sentence).  They should keep healthy relationships as they move.  They may need to come back to them in the future.  

Don’t be the coach that leaves his team on bad terms and ends up with no resources to tap into in the future.

Traditional Tools

Here are some technical tips for networking:

-10 Tips for Effective Networking from UMBC

-Six Top Tips for Networking in the New World of Work by Sally Percy of Forbes

-How to Network: 18 Easy Networking Tips You Can Use Today from Science of People

There’s 34 ways (with a little overlap) to help you meet people.

I can’t knock these tips.  They are helpful and that’s why they made it into the entry.

The Architect’s Tricks

What I find to be most important when building a connection is simplifying the surface level things that most people default to when meeting someone. 

I don’t think your job, hometown, family, our company that you work for are insignificant.  In fact, they are a part of you and to say anything less could be considered rude.

The problem is when you focus your efforts on gathering information and not understanding someone’s thoughts.  For example, if someone tells you that they were born somewhere, but moved shortly after their birth to another place, it’s likely that their actual birthplace isn’t that significant in their life.  Their childhood memories are from somewhere else.  

In contrast, if they proceed to tell you finer details about their hometown, it probably means a lot to them and asking related questions (and remembering the discussion) could be a great way to maintain and deepen the relationships.  Simplify the facts and deepen the connection.  

The sweet spot (to use another cliché) is where your general interests meets theirs.  This brings me to the second “trick”. 

The best relationships are the ones with the most meaning.  There are plenty of them out there for all of us with about eight million people in the world.  

Don’t speed date your connecting!  A great architect doesn’t rush.  It’s important to ensure connections are strong before moving onto the next.  And if you find yourself getting to capacity, stop.  It’s futile to squeeze in other relationships that are sure to suffer or cause others to do the same (replacing is for another entry, hit me up @bdepa on Twitter or Instagram DMs as a reminder or even for suggestions of other topics).

Finally, the master architect always rechecks his or her work and cares for what has been built.  I mentioned remembering your discussions is important.  This is not an entry about note taking or creating profiles but whatever it takes to document for you should be done.  

I suggest having a single place where you note things about the people you meet and desire to develop a relationship with.  In my previous career role, my team kept an excel document with information about people we connected with professionally.

A quick recap of the tricks:

1. Connect beyond the surface - ask deeper questions not more of the typical things that come up

2. Slow down - don’t sprint through the room or list of people trying to speed date everyone, better to spend quality time with less people

3. Come back to connections - ask people how things are going or for an update on something they told you about in the past

These three things are very simple to implement but will at least make you stand out and most likely provide you much more information to use productively.

A House of Impact

The Impactmaker Movement is one big house.  We are a connected network and I encourage you to lean on your fellow impactmakers.  Take advantage of the networked that you’ve help build over the past couple years.  

We have numerous podcasts, blogs, videos, and we even have the Initiate Impact newsletter, Philanthropy is 🔥.  You can message just about any one of these people for direct assistance in their area of expertise or just to build.

We all have a great root system to nurture our own “coaching tree”.  I encourage you to start immediately but make haste slowly.  Have strong intentions, tell people exactly what your goals are, and apply the tricks from above.

You may not have a huge impact project or even a small task to complete but the master architect is always honing their craft and building something.  

Your journey to find purpose and make the impact you were made to can only be aided by building a strong network.  

If you’re a goal oriented person, give yourself a number of people that you’d like to connect with on a weekly basis.  You can start with one and be sure to follow up with them if they are one of the eight million that jives with you.  Don’t expect them to reach back out no matter how good the conversation is, especially if they are a busy professional.

Grab your tools and get to work!