Bob DePasquale

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Be Absurd

The businesses that are weird stand out.  I’m not saying that they are the best or even do the most business but they are recognizable.  



I am typing this on a Friday because tonight begins the Senior Youth Lockout at St. Paul Lutheran Church in Weston, Florida.  



Lockout you ask?  Yes.  LockOUT.  You may have heard of a LockIN - basically an all nighter where a bunch of kids avoid sleep and torment adults the whole time.  This doesn’t make me seem like a great youth ministry volunteer.



A lockout is a similar idea to a lock-in accept we go to various fun places throughout the night including a bowling alley (I’d argue that this isn’t very fun) and a diner.  Eventually, it’s 6am and we all go home.  Exhausting and ABSURD!



Absurdity



Interestingly, the concept of absurdity is on my mind right now because I am in one of my favorite Twitter Spaces of the week, Friday is for Friends (FIFF).  It’s the funniest, happiest hour of the week.  After four and a half days of grinding and having serious conversations, it’s good to  loosen up a bit.  FIFF allows anyone who can join to participate.

Friends make life fun! Twitter is a great place to meet some and spend quality time.




Today’s host, Matt Hogan has been leading us in a discussion about “Purple Cows” - meaning people or businesses that stand out because of their uniqueness.  




These “brands” are absurd in a good way.




Weird Impact




There is something to be said about standing out.  The Impactmaker Movement requires us to do so out but we feel the need to avoid self-promotion.  Tamay Shannon from Speaking of Impact episode 49 would stress the importance of having a social media presence.  




How do you do this in the right way?




I think you have to "fly your freak flag".  Don’t be afraid of the fact that we are bit a different.  We are determined and hardworking for something different than what the world exalts.  




I’m saying that the key to positive impact is being weird.  




But, not just for the sake of being weird.  There is extreme purpose in what we do.  You have to embrace that purpose and the fact that it is different.  If it wasn’t we’d have no purpose behind our efforts.




Speaking of Impact episode 32 with Gabrielle Bosche will help you find purpose.  This entry is about the next step.




I’m Not Weird




You are weird.  Trust me.  




You may have this feeling because you are so well invested in The Impactmaker Movement.  I greatly appreciate that and this is an appropriate time to ask for a review of Speaking of Impact so that we can push the conversation forward.  However, I must also stress the importance of stepping outside of your comfort zone a bit.




Go where you don’t quite fit in.  




Outside of being one of the King of Pop’s most underrated songs (my opinion of course but have a listen), “They Don’t Really Care About Us” gives us a great visual for this concept.




There was frequent banter about Michael’s skin color and that clearly causes a contrast in the video but it’s more about the culture.  A music legend obviously lives a different life than most of us.  The song depicts a living legend singing with an underserved population.  He doesn’t “belong” but he needs to be there.




I don’t expect any platinum artists to develop as a result of reading this blog but I do expect people to go places where they might be a little “weird”.  




Have conversations with people outside of your industry, religion, town, or even quarantined home these days.




You may have to “find” your weirdness.  




The Desire to Belong




Part of the reason that the podcast, a blog like this, and the messages we preach work is because of community. 




E-Impact 47 talks about building community and the biggest selling point for a group is just that - a group.  Humans have an inherent desire to belong to something.  Actually, more than just humans - see Need to Belong.




The desire to be part of a group that has commonalities is a net-great thing.  But here’s the one problem:




Community is great but you must experience new things.

You HAVE to step out of your community at times.




In my book, “Personal Finance in a Public World”, I tell a story (that I have alluded to in the blog as well) about a trip with Habitat for Humanity to an indigenous Mayan community in Mexico.  




Ladies are married at a very young age (16 years old or younger some times) compared to our culture.  At that point, they have to leave their community and it’s a very sad and special event.  Families and are big and close and I can only imagine the experience of leaving for a girl.  They must be very uncomfortable going to a “weird’ community to start a new life.




I’m not suggesting that you leave your family behind and move to a remote location but I am suggesting that you embrace new cultures.  




In a way, you must get away from impactmaking and get close to whatever else is out there.  Meet people where they are figuratively and literally.




My number one suggestion on how to do this is consider something that you are interested in and find a group that meets (can be done electronically these days, it could even be a Twitter chat) and go to a meeting.  




If you can’t completely get away from the desire to belong, find a way to belong to something else.  You can, and should belong to more than one community.  If nothing else, it’s likely that experiencing something different can add a perspective to your main group.  And perhaps that indicates the simplicity of my argument.  




You can help all of us by learning about the perspectives of others.




The Desire to Stand Out




I suppose you may still be concerned about standing out and that is okay.  That’s a positive sign that you are focused on others as opposed to yourself.  




At the risk of piling on too many mind tricks after the previous suggestion about belonging, I will encourage you to connect standing out with standing up.




You’re a convicted, motivated, and inspired impactmaker.  Dig deep and fight for something great.  Pull a Michael Jordan inventing slights if you must.  




The way you’ll stand out (and be weird) is by standing up for those who don’t have a voice.




World Vision says that about 9.2% of the world, or 689 million people, live in extreme poverty on less than $1.90 a day.  Even one poor person is too many, no less hundreds of millions.




This is just one issue.  There are plenty of other causes that you can take up; and stand up for these days.




Steps to Realize Your Weirdness




This entry begs the question, “How do I find my weirdness?”, which is a sibling of “What’s my purpose?”.




You can apply the find purpose steps at any time.  They are foundational to your impact work.  




Here’s some “weird” steps for the specific purpose of the concept at hand:




  1. Look at your calendar and identify how you spend the majority of your time.

  2. Identify the outliers on the high end. Usually, work activities dominant here. That’s okay. Hopefully, your work lives out your purpose. If not, you may need to take a step back.

  3. Consider the outliers (outside of career if need be, but maybe not if you don’t connect with people outside of your level) and who or what those efforts are designed to benefit. If you find that you don’t know much about who or what your work benefits that could be a good chance to step out of your comfort zone.

  4. Be the "Undercover Boss". If you’ve seen the show, you can get an idea of what I’m suggesting. You have go where you are unexpected to go. Don’t just cook for the homeless. Feed them.

  5. If you do connect regularly with the people mentioned above, it’s time to make more people aware of this type of activity. Do it more. Find other places to do it and other people to do it with. Let your freak flag fly. It’s not normal for an executive to visit the mailroom and it’s not normal for someone to visit an impoverished area to serve.




What Do We See?




While fleshing out this concept I couldn’t help but realize that our culture has glorified absurdity.  There are some people who are doing exactly what I am saying and doing it well.  I commend those impactmakers for making a difference.  




There is however one problem.  We have glorified the person and not that action.  I am here to celebrate weirdness, not necessarily the people who express it.  




My business partner and I have been working on a white paper about philanthropy for Initiate Impact.  It’s a great project but I am realizing that somewhere along the lines of philantropia (the Greek word that eventually led to philanthropy) we lost the purpose.  It means the love of mankind - no the love of “a man…for loving other men”.  See Andrew Carnegie’s The Gospel of Wealth (1889). 




I hesitate to criticize the people because I believe it’s not their intent but a product of our world so I will refrain from naming people.  However, there are some famous philanthropists that I know people envy.




“Wow!  I’d love to travel the world and raise money for orphans.  What a fulfilling and fun job.”




It’s absurd to the rest of us that someone gets to do that job.  It’s also absurd that Aaron Rodgers signed a $200 million contract with the Green Bay Packers.  It’s the same emotion: envy.




Envy




This troubling emotion has left us all behind.  We think we aren’t cut out for greatness in the impact space.  




Not True!




Imposter syndrome sucks.  It’s irrational.  




You are an impactmaker.  Keep doing great things and don’t be afraid to live outside of the community.  We’re not going anywhere.




Drop your envy because there’s another issue that needs to be addressed and YOU can do it because:




Your impact is ABSURD!