The Greatest Thing We Can Give Someone is Attention
I have been fighting for your attention for almost two years now.
You are reading the 100th entry to the E-Impact Blog. I’d like to think that I have held your attention for thirty minutes every Tuesday morning since the first ever entry.
It seems the first edition had a pretty catchy title; “Full of It”. I was definitely trying to gather attention with that one. It worked at least to some degree.
It wasn’t that long ago that you couldn’t publish a blog this easily. I can only imagine myself creating a printed newsletter (yeah, right!).
The Engaged Student
If you’ve ever been a part of a classroom, you know that the interest of the students is very important. It doesn’t matter if it’s a kindergarten class or a college lecture.
I have mentioned numerous times that my wife teaches kindergarten. She’s even working on her own website and business (mrsdepasquale.com) as we speak so she’s a woman of many talents - but her heart is in the classroom.
Over the years, I have listened to her stories about teaching and can confirm that engaging the students is very important. The days that the kids are distracted, misbehaving, sick, or anything else that leads to disinterest, are the days where she’s stressed.
She’s fighting for attention every day.
College professors are in the same battle. When I was a student at Hofstra University, I took a variety of classes and have trouble remembering many of them. However, there are a few that stand out. These are the ones that were either extra engaging or the complete opposite.
I could often feel the instructors “fighting” for our attention. Many of them were very effective - some of them, not so much. Still others, didn’t even care.
One of my classes is completely unforgettable. It was Art History.
I am not a historian or art connoisseur. This was one of those classes that I was required to take.
Despite my disinterest in the subject matter, I am the type of person that sees opportunities in most places. I felt that there was something for me to experience there no matter what. In other words, I went to class.
Interestingly, this class was back to back with another class with a similar subject matter and the same professor. I don’t remember the professor’s name but it’s probably better that way.
My class was at 8 AM and the related class started at 9 AM. There was a two hour period where the professor held classes in the room. I noticed in the first week of the semester that there were numerous people who would show up at the very end of the first class, sign in, wait until the next class started, sign in for that one, and then leave.
These people would be in the room for no more than five minutes. Some wouldn’t even sit down! Clever way to save time in a busy college schedule I guess.
This is not advice on how to make it through university, but these people (some of them my football and lacrosse teammates), had it down to a science (I guess maybe it was a science class in that sense).
What a simple way to get six credits.
The professor made no attempt to garner attention. There wasn’t a whole lot of learning going on and candidly, most of us felt there were much more valuable places to use up our precious attention.
The Engaged Impactmaker
Perhaps the most frequent question or concern that I get in relation to The Impactmaker Movement is:
“Bob I’m not in charge of a charity. How can I make an impact in the world?”
First of all, we’re all making an impact in one way or another. It’s really about the type. In that sense, it should be “The Positive Impactmaker Movement” but that’s too long and I think you can pick up on the positivity pretty quickly when consuming our content.
Now that we’ve established even if you’ve asked that question you are indeed making some sort of impact, congratulations!
The real question is if you are engaged in that impact. I ask you:
Are you paying attention to the type of impact that you are making?
If you are; great. Go back and read the last 99 entries (haha) - kidding of course. Keep reading because you can never overdo this.
If you aren’t, you can start right now.
Liam is known for some great one-liners.
Interestingly, my friend Liam Sanford with whom I host a weekly Twitter space about being a “creator” made a powerful statement last week. He said:
Ask yourself, ‘What should I be doing right now?’”
This is a great question. The abbreviation “rn” gets thrown around quite a bit these days and I hope it doesn’t lose it power like some of the others; “lol”, “rofl”, “tl:dr”, “imo”.
Right Now needs to keep its urgency. Certain things in life should have this priority and immediate engagement.
This is one of those times and you find yourself with an option of what to pay your attention frequently - meaning you have to figure out what to to “rn” all the time.
Bob’s Challenge
That was a bit of a challenge…maybe a reach for more of your attention (or all of it).
The great news is that this challenge is not hard to complete. You’re halfway through this entry. Just stick with me for a bit.
All I ask of you (or challenge you to do) is to consider the value of your attention. I am giving you permission to give yourself as lot of credit - a lot.
Your life is incredibly valuable and giving attention is giving a part of it.
The single most important thing that an impactmaker can provide for someone is attention. It doesn’t have to equate to a specific item or monetary gain.
When you give someone attention, they give you a message back.
I am sure that I learned a bit about art history back in college, but there could have been a lot more learned for me and the people who showed up for five minutes just to sign in.
I challenge you to pay attention to the people around you in a given day. We are so busy in this time of the world that we rush from thing to thing (whether in a car, the supermarket, or in our digital mobile device’s world). It’s too easy to pass by someone with a simple need.
Over the past two years, the simplest example of kindness, generosity, and impact that runs through my mind consistently is opening a door for someone.
A lot of places have automatic doors so this doesn’t always apply. However, you’d be surprised how appreciative people are when you hold a door for them. Sadly, some are downright surprised that someone would even do that.
I am not saying we should concentrate on opening doors for people all day and call it world changing, but it’s a much better thought than you might think.
I challenge you to pay attention to the simple needs of the people around you:
Open doors
Pick up things
Give directions
Let people merge on the highway
Phone a friend (not because you need something or are on a gameshow)
Offer a helping hand
All of these are often “rn” decisions.
A Little Goes a Long Way
The power of attention is in the mind. I believe strongly that most people are genuinely kind. The problem is that we are too distracted and self-consumed.
Our brains are trained to expect consistent stimuli and desire immediate responses.
If we can all resist the urge just a little bit every day, we would find plenty more impactful places to spend our energy.
The greatest opportunities are often right in front of us. The COVID-19 pandemic has changed how we interact at work and in social circles but we still interact with people. We still have reason to communicate and thus, opportunities to give our attention.
How many roads are you driving on at once?
I picture our lives like a trip down the interstate. We are speeding. We are late for something and rushing. We are on the phone working on something else at the same time and anything else that comes up would be a major problem and point of frustration.
What would happen if you ran into some traffic or missed your exit (which ironically, would be the result of overstimulation)?
This trip down the internet is just a high speed example of you sprint-walking through the supermarket and considering all the other customers’ roadblocks in your race. Instead of helping your fellow shopper carry something or get something off the top-shelf, you’re full tilt towards the deli to grab the lowest number possible.
Maybe we should schedule a little bit less in our lives. I think it would go a long way towards making a broader impact on the immediate world around us.
There’s Need All Around You
Ironically, if you would have asked me two years ago, I would have said the hundredth entry to the blog would’ve been a huge celebration about how great things are going, and all the money and other forms of help we’ve given to people.
But that’s not the case. Today, we are indeed turning around and going back to the basics - the simple acts.
Attention is extremely valuable but not hard to give.
I spend a lot of time telling people to save in my professional life. Here, I tell you to spend; to pay.
People are in need of basic acts of impact.
Pay attention!