He Who Understands it, Earns it
Can you earn generosity?
I don’t think so but you can achieve a generous mindset. I say generosity is a mindset and not an event because it takes intentional consistency. A one-time gift can be a great thing but it’s not an achievement.
You have a special appreciation for community when you have a generous mindset. This is twofold and doesn’t mean you are irrationally positive. In fact, it means that you acknowledge that which is negative.
Appreciating Generosity
A strong community includes an immeasurable amount of bonds. There are connections between individuals and groups, each of which is complex in its own right.
Humans love community.
Within any group, there are positive and negative things. It’s part of life and it’s the community that helps with the ups and downs. Perhaps this is the most recognizable form of appreciation you have for the communities of which you are a part. You are the benefactor of acts of generosity and it’s a great feeling.
The second piece of appreciation you have for community when in the generous mindset is joy of others’ success. This encourages you to be generous to them and makes you feel as if you are contributing to something that is good and bigger than yourself.
Everyone is part of various communities but not everyone has appreciation like this. It’s worth intentional habits to find the right mindset for understanding it.
Earning or Paying
It’s a great feeling to earn something to which you’ve put your mind. They key is that you have to actually put your mind to it. There’s no sense of accomplishment if something comes easy. I would even say there is a price to pay for handouts - meaning there’s very little middle ground. You’re either earning something or paying for it.
There is a term in the non-profit and estate planning spaces called planned giving. I have learned about it deeply in my work as a financial advisor. There are numerous ways to give your financial resources to other people while you’re alive and after you’ve died. The conversations related to the subject can be very inspirational but also very morbid.
Some of the greatest gifts I’ve seen have been planned for after someone’s passing. The most well-thought-out strategies take an incredible amount of visioning, projecting, and planning. They are truly earned.
Estate and giving plans that are not actually planned tend to result in both the giver and benefactor paying for it financially and emotionally.
You may not be in a season of life to consider an estate planning gift but I see our intentionality in our giving mindset as something which will determine if we have earned fulfillment or paid the price of complacency.
Giving More than Food
The difference between earning and paying, or understanding or not, doesn’t come overnight but one day in my life reminds me of this process.
You’ve heard me talk about the youth from our church that Mrs. DePasquale and I work with. We love spending time with them and in any given event we participate in we might learn more from them than they do from us.
Serving those in need is extremely rewarding.
About five years ago, the youth group organized a trip to LifeNet for Families - a local food bank. I have mentioned this story before but not in this context. I knew that the event was going on on a Saturday morning and had planned on attending. Although, I hadn’t committed (maybe that was my first mistake) to anyone.
This happened a few years before the COVID-19 pandemic and before my wife and I started getting up at 5 am to work out. I don’t note that as a badge of honor but as a key point to the story. I would definitely not be up that early, especially on a Saturday. The group was supposed to meet at church at 8 am. That seemed so early!
I don’t remember if I set my alarm or not but do remember waking up to my wife getting ready to go coach middle school basketball. I can’t fault her for not attending the servant event, she would be working. In fact, her need to get up was the only reason why I arose.
I could have easily rolled around and gone back to sleep after she left. Something hit me, though. She was awake and ready to do some work that although fulfilling, came with no recognition or remuneration. I also thought about the kids who didn’t want to be up that early on a Saturday morning either. They would be there. And finally, I remember some recent announcements in church that indicated the great need LifeNet had.
I sucked it up and got out of bed threw on some clothes and headed over to church to meet the group. They were about to leave when I arrived but were short drivers. If I hadn’t come, they would not have all been able to get there. I took some kids and joined the caravan.
I expected to get there, jump on a line, and slap some processed food on a few cafeteria trays. Boy, was I wrong!
Interestingly, the need that the local food pantry had wasn’t for food or even for money. We also weren’t there just as a nice gesture. They really needed the manpower. Prior to the pandemic, they had been receiving a tremendous amount of resources but had some issues with their building. They needed extra assistance to move the food from a storage place into the kitchen where it could be cooked and ultimately served.
We spent about two and a half hours reorganizing and transporting food and then just an hour and a half cooking and serving. It was easy to see the need that the people who came in had and it would have been a shame if all that food couldn’t have been served.
I’m sure I would have felt good about doing anything to help there. However, the fulfillment I got once I understood the situation was immeasurable.
Had I not had an appreciation for what we were doing, I would have kept the same mindset I had when I first woke up. I would have paid for it. Thankfully, I figured out the situation and my effort earned a greater feeling in the end.
The Purpose
The reason for doing service work should not solely be for our own fulfillment. Yet, I believe we were designed with this important characteristic. It is good to expect a feeling of accomplishment when dedicating time to doing something good.
My experience at LifeNet for Families is a simple microcosm of the generous mindset. I believe you can apply a dedication to understanding the plight of people in need and those whose work is to serve them. It is with this effort that you can find a greater purpose to life.
No one would complain if you were doing kind things and giving gifts without a greater reason. But I would fear for your psyche. You risk complacency which comes with it a great price.
It’s simple. The more you seek reasons for impact, the more purpose you’ll find.
It’s Given
Don’t make it more complicated than it needs to be. As long as you agree with me that we all have an inherent need to help others, it’s less about searching for meaning in an external source and more about introspection.
You’ve been given a special set of gifts and skills to make the world a better place. But don’t be complacent! They’re given but should still be trained. In that training, you’ll also find meaning.
Do the things that you like to do. Spend time working at what brings you joy. It’s not about finding something that you do that can be helpful. It’s about finding how to use what you like the most to be helpful.
When You Know, You Know
Bob, “How do I know I’m doing the right thing?”
I don’t know. You tell me.
Once again, it’s nothing external or anything I say. It’s what you find. You’ll know you’re in the right mindset when even the smallest of things are fulfilling and when you’re willing to consistently challenge yourself for the betterment of others.
The great thing about the generous mindset is that you don’t have to wait until “the end” to be rewarded. It feels good as you do it. Remember, it’s a mindset and not an event.
“Gratituding”
One tool that I can recommend is a gratitude journal. This is a way to keep track of the things that bring you joy. If you’re like most people in the world, you can’t afford everything you wish you had. This is a good thing. Possessions can provide a fleeting sense of happiness, but not joy.
Consider it a blessing that you have to earn what is great. With that being said, keep track of the things that provide the most joy and if you’ve read this whole entry, those things are related to service to others.
I suggest “gratituding” every day. Start by writing things down every morning or every evening when you can dedicate distraction-less time. It might seem like a burden at first but it’s a necessary habit. I hesitate to give you an “out” but once you’ve developed the habit, over a month or two you can consider making it just a mental exercise. Although, I’d still recommend writing down the most unique items. Maybe have an ongoing list that you add to when needed.
Perpetuity
The great thing about any mindset is that it can last a lifetime. This is also a perpetual risk. Make sure you dedicate the time needed to finding your ideal mindset for impact.
He who understands their ideal mindset will earn their fulfillment. He who doesn’t will pay for it.
If you understand your generosity you can earn something greater than any possession you’ll ever acquire.