Success is subjective. There are multiple definitions and multiple interpretations of it in every scenario.

I want you to be successful - wildly successful. But, I want you to do it on your own terms.

You really have to consider the things that are important to you in order to define success.

The Great Divide

A continental divide is a drainage divide on a continent such that the drainage basin on one side of the divide feeds into one ocean or sea and the basin on the other side feeds into a different ocean or sea.

In recent years (yes, during the pandemic), I’ve had the chance to do some domestic (United States) travel. Along the way, there were some breathtaking views.

A great place to see a nice view is at a continental divide.

The Great Divide is one in North America and travels from Alaska through Mexico and to the southern tip of South America.

See these graphics and notes for more details.

I drove past some scenic points of the divide on my last trip and didn’t know much about it. My curiosity has led me to doing more research since then.

Years of erosion likely has caused the divide. Watersheds from the west side run to the Pacific Ocean and those from the east side run to the Atlantic Ocean.

The waters are mixed at first and then go their separates ways to completely different oceans.

Separate Ways

Have you ever been in an uncomfortable situation - one where you may need to make a hard decision? You might have felt like you were letting people down or not fitting in. Peer pressure was certainly a possibility.

When I was in high school, I had a moment like this. My friend and I were walking through a local neighborhood with a group of people. It was late and the sun had gone down. If I was anything like I am today, I was probably tired and wanted to go home. Maybe that contributed to it because we actually went home unexpectedly.

The other people in our group decided to go to someone else's house because they had some “stuff” to try. My drug radar went off immediately because my D.A.R.E. course was strong and I had the fresh memory of a tragedy that happened to a classmate of mine not too long before (this could be a story for a future entry).

It wasn’t a hostile event and the group split into two smaller groups that decided to go their separate ways. It was necessary. Our deficient of a successful night wasn’t to be high and theirs probably wasn’t to play Madden for a few hours.

We said “no”.

“No” for Grown-ups

I believe those “no”s that you have to give when you are a teenager can be pretty important. One wrong decision and you can take your life in a troubling direction. Thankfully, they aren’t that frequent.

When you’re older, it’s probably easier for most to avoid the riskiest of situations but what about the not so risky situations?

Adults, especially entrepreneurs and those making management decisions, are faced with small “yes” or “no” decisions all the time. It’s very important to choose the right one in as many situations as possible and today’s world will give you plenty of opportunities to choose.

The best way to ensure you have enough time for what matters most is to choose “no”. The high volume of options and limited time tells us that there should be a lot more “no”s than “yes”s.

“Yes” in Advance

Choosing “no” in the moment is about choosing “yes” in advance.

Prioritizing your efforts and time will make it easier to avoid distractions.

Steve Jobs once stated that he had to hire the smartest people so that they could tell him what to do. This seems like a good way to avoid some of those really challenging decisions but most of us don’t have the budget to hire a bunch of the smartest people in our careers or for our impact project.

I encourage you to make a list of the most important activities in a given area of your life. It could be three things or three hundred. After the first list you make, go back over the list and try to cut it in half. Choose only those things that are absolutely necessary. A good idea of what your goals are is important at this point. See E-Impact !$#%$@#% for information on how to do that.

Once you have your “halved” list of activities, it’s time to fit them into your schedule. If they don’t fit, then you have to halve the list again. If they do, be as detailed and exact as you can. Determined when and how much time you will spend on each. You’ll have said “yes” in advance to these things at the end of this step.

“No” in the Moment

The goal of this entry is to make saying “no” a simple two-step process. In the case you have extra time in your calendar (I haven’t heard that from anyone in a while.), you would have a third step (adding to your schedule).

The first step is to determine if a given opportunity serves to advance your mission or accomplish your goal. If not, you move on immediately. If it does, move to step two. It should be noted that I believe most decisions should end at this point. A bright north star makes navigating this road much easier. Find yours.

Step two is where you really define your success. Above, I mentioned how your success should be uniquely defined by you. You will do this by determining which things (that you’ve already decided would serve to advance your mission in step one) should replace something already in your priority list. This is critical to the direction of your efforts.

I think most operational business owners, people trying to make a difference in the world or their community, and even employees are familiar with goals and business planning. They’ve either been part of a process or have been made aware of their organizations’ expectations. With that knowledge, they should theoretically be able to complete step one.

We can trust most to answer the question, “Will this activity be a positive influence on our mission?”

What isn’t so easy to answer is, “Should we replace something good that we are doing with this new opportunity?”

Or, maybe it is easy. Let me try to make it with one statement.

Impactmakers, your answer should be “NO”, 95% of the time.

The more you work towards something, the more you build your network and the greater amount of opportunities you have. However, lower the ratio of good ones to bad ones.

The best example I can give of this is my podcasting “career”. Speaking of Impact has been around for about 21 months now. It was really hard to find guests when I first started and harder to find listeners. Even my close friends were hesitant to participate in either fashion.

Thank you so much to Mayi Lenz for being our first ever guest (Speaking of Impact episode 2). By the way, Mayi also did the photography for my book cover. Click on her picture to check out her business and website (she has a podcast too).

Now that we are getting close to the two year mark, I am getting bombarded with podcast guest requests, marketing plans, technical equipment, growth strategies, and advertisement packages.

Learning to say “no” politely has nearly become a superpower (as much as I like to stay away from this trending cliché.

That “no” in the moment is made easy by the “yes’s” you made before.

Fast and Furious

Adult impactmakers will have decisions coming at them fast and furious (unlike the adolescent trying to avoid catastrophe on occasion). You’ll want to make them in advance so as to avoid decision fatigue (a topic covered in detail in my book, Personal Finance in a Public World).

You have to look at these times as “great divides” in your life and impact projects. Neither the Pacific Ocean or the Atlantic Ocean are bad places for water to go and a lot of your decisions will be between two good options (that’s why we have step one). But, it is important to understand that each option could provide a big change in what you do.

I’m all about positive change. That’s The Impactmaker Movement in a nutshell. Yet, you don’t just change for change. You change for a specific reason.

The fast paced world we live in will give you plenty of chances (2,617 to be exact if you take a line from the back of the book). Never fear that you’ll run short of opportunities. Even if you miss one, the next great technology will not be too far behind.

In some ways, the information age is an excuse to be lazy but I don’t like to think of it like that. I like to think of it as an incentive to stay on the cutting edge. There are more tools for success, not more shortcuts.

You can’t benefit from a tool if you don’t know how to use it.

Your Terms

I was the kid that needed an explanation for everything. I also had one, haha. And some things don’t change. Here’s my closing explanation.

I wouldn’t make a statement early on and not address it after encouraging a specific behavior. I’ve given you my thoughts on saying “no”. You need the “why”.

I mentioned being successful on your terms. The fast and furious options in life will give you other definitions of success that are too general.

A strong purpose with well defined goals is manifested with well defined priorities.

Saying NO is the ultimate expression of priorities.

Define success and don’t let anyone (or thing) tell you otherwise. Your impact depends on YOUR success.

There’s one thing I disagree with D.A.R.E. about.

Don’t “just say ‘no’ to drugs.”

Say NO to a lot more!

Successful People Say “No”

The Individual is More Relatable Than the Institution

The First Step to the Top of the Mountain