The Power of “Why”: How to manage your curiosity for impact
When I was in high school, I hated studying science. I believe part of this was because of the educational methods I experienced. I need to be extremely careful when criticizing education. My wife, Trisha, is an educator. She teaches kindergarten, very, very well. But, my struggles need to be acknowledged for the purpose of this entry.
The definition of science looks like this:
“the intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment”
I like the intellectual part more than the practical here. And I think that my high school self struggled with the systematic part of the subject. You remember the scientific method, right? When you’re 16 years old, your life is a big science experiment. Except, you don’t have a formal hypothesis. In fact, you probably have a different hypothesis every five minutes (at least I did).
I am sure there were days were I had ten different ideas of what I wanted to do with my life. Some would argue that six subjects a day was too much. I would have preferred eight or more.
As I compare what life was like back then and what it is like now, I notice that there are two main differences. The first point is probably shared by most of us. The stakes are higher in adulthood. The decisions we make have a greater effect on more people. Prior to becoming adults, most people do not have anyone truly relying on them. You may have a part time job, or watch a sibling for your parents, but you are not essential to the survival of someone else. Once you get into the “real world,” things change. You may have a career, spouse, kids, or something else that requires your experience and decision making to thrive.
The second major difference between my adolescent life and my adult life is my need to manage my influences. The reason why science was challenging for me in high school was because it limited my desire to think creatively. I was looking to “explore” mentally. I wanted more stimuli, ideas, concepts, and complexities. These days, due to the first difference between life now and then, the stakes are higher. Therefore, I now try to limit stimulation. The goal is to narrow the things that affect me, and spend as much time on those things as possible. I would prefer for my efforts to remain an inch wide and a mile deep as opposed to a mile wide and an inch deep (like in high school).
Unfortunately, we cannot eliminate stimuli in our lives. We are amidst the worst pandemic any of us has ever experienced. Yet, we are connected more than ever. As I described last week, we are in a virtual world. Technology has made it possible to gather news and spread information faster than ever. Could you imagine if I had to mail this blog to you every week? Honestly, I probably, wouldn’t. I’d be a scientist…
Although we cannot eliminate the stimuli, we have two other options to control the effect they have on us. The first, is to completely isolate ourselves. In many cases, this is challenging to do for an extended period of time. I thoroughly encourage it on occasion, but understand that that is not how the world works these days. In other words, I am not suggesting that we should eliminate modern technology and live more primitive lives.
The second way to control stimuli is from within. Instead of trying to stop or avoid them, we can consciously choose to isolate those that are most important. Simplify your life by allowing the messages that aren’t important to go unacknowledged. Do not let them be a distraction.
About ten years ago (ten years and nine days to be exact), my wife and I adopted. It was an unforgettable day and entire experience. It all started while we were on our annual Spoke Folk mission trip. We actually met through this organization, so it has quite a special place in our heart.
A Spoke Folk tour last 12 days and includes biking throughout a state and stopping in different towns every night. Honestly, it is about as close as one can get to disconnecting these days. Much of your day is spent biking and communicating with your team. It’s an amazing opportunity to develop relationships.
Believe it or not, ten years ago, cell phone technology was not as good as it is today. But, it was good enough to check on our friends and family back home from where we were in Indiana.
One of the first nights of our trip, one of our friends, Adam, called us knowing that we were out of town. We knew it was important if he was going to call us. His words were simple. I’ll never forget them.
“Guys, I found a cat.”
I said, “What?”
“I found a kitten in the bushes in front of my house and he is not doing well. My dad and I are going to take care of him. When do you all come home?”
Me, “Ten days, why?”
Trisha, “We’ll take him!”
And so the DePasquale family has never been the same. When we arrived home, our new kitty was not in good shape and there was instant obligation to help him out. He walked with a limp, had visible ribs, and wouldn’t go near another living thing.
His name is Kobe. Indirectly named after Kobe Bryant. Rest in peace, Mamba.
young Kobe curiously plays with a paperclip
The veterinarian was very concerned about Kobe when we brought him in. Thankfully though, with some good food and exercise, Kobe was able to grow out of his limp and gain some weight.
Growing up, my family had a chihuahua named Zero. He was the calmest, quietest chihuahua I’ve ever known. He was clean and self sufficient. He walked without a leash and you couldn’t find his tiny poop in the grass, no less pick up in a plastic bag. He was kind of like a cat…or at least I thought.
Once Kobe’s health improved, I thought he’d be like Zero with a litter box. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case. Kobe is a cat. He’s curious.
Kobe is like 16 year old Bobby (me). He HAS to know why. He will stop at nothing to figure something out. There have been numerous items in two different homes knocked off a surface due to Kobe’s curiosity. His greatest effort is probably pushing a 32 inch television off a six foot tall entertainment center. “Great, Kobe, now you know what’s inside the black box."
What we can learn from Kobe is the power of “why”. This word means so much to us as humans. If you have five minutes, watch What Percentage of Your Brain Do You Use?
The brain may account for only 2% of an adult’s body mass, but it is powerful. It makes me wonder why we have so much room inside our brain for additional information. It’s not likely that we’ll ever fill it all the way up. But, what would happen if we did? How would that feel? Would we just keel over? Or would we just get so bored that we can’t learn the simplest new concept?
The great news is that we are not anywhere near reaching the capacity of our brain. Maybe our distant descendants will. Or, maybe the brain will evolve and grow.
Although it’s good that we will not run out of capacity, that amount of free space can be dangerous. This might be why high school curriculum requires the teacher to reign in the students. Looking back, I see why my 16 year old self had to be controlled in science lab.
I always encourage young people to learn as much as they can. Also, I say that we should never stop learning. The key though, is to make sure that your learning is productive. You need to identify the things that you care about the most and those at which you excel. Then, educate yourself (continuously) as much as possible about those subjects and use your wisdom for good.
Just like any practice or habit, the more you use “why” for good, the more efficient you’ll be. As you master one topic you may be able to move on to another (with your unlimited brain capacity). This is much different than giving up. This is actually pushing through the struggle and reaching a goal. Once that goal is reached and you’re making an impact, considering moving on to the next “why”.
See Sebastian Kipman’s article about 15 Highly Successful People Who Failed On Their Way to Success. This is proof that even the greatest concepts and successes can take time and have multiple troubles along the way. Vincent van Gogh makes another appearance after starring in last week’s newsletter. I’m slowly coming on to art. It has certainly been a controlled stimuli for me over the years.
The greatest thing about asking “why” is that it makes you vulnerable. It’s an admission that you don’t know something. This not only gives others the license to explain, but also gives them comfort in their own ignorance. You can ask why as part of a group. Weakness and group projects are two subjects I have covered before. Use them for good.
I must thoroughly stress the importance of “why” to our life on Earth. We are all kind of like Kobe. But, curiosity doesn’t actually kill the cat. It fuels him. It fuels us.
We need to find joy (not relief) in searching for the answer to “why”. When we find it, we may rest, but we start the joyful search again.
I have no doubt you will always ask “why”. My hope is that your search is joyful and your answers bring joy to others.
“Why” x effort = Impact.