6 Things to Help You Lead with Giving
Leadership is a much studied topic. It’s something that has been written about, spoken about, and taught in many fashions. I find that there is no perfect explanation of what it is and it can be displayed in multiple ways.
Every good organization needs solid leadership. But, what does that really mean? Every group would have it if we knew.
Most would agree that leadership is not for everyone and also not something that anyone can take on all the time. I think the best leaders are that in certain scenarios. You are better off being an expert leader in a certain field than mediocre leader in a multiple areas.
Leaders are First
The Captain evacuates last. The crew knows this.
A good ship captain is the last one off of a sinking boat. They have a selflessness about them to which the crew is drawn. Ironically, it’s the things they are first at that go unnoticed.
A great leader is the first person to anticipate a problem. They are the first person to think of a solution. They are also the first person to address a conflict among teammates. The rest of the group has their own jobs to do and taking on tasks as a leader could be distracting to their responsibilities.
The Last Shall be First
You may have heard of the scripture that says the last shall be first in @$%@#@#. Great leaders have a way of prioritizing the needs of the most unnoticed, least fortunate, and needy people. They are able to support the people of their organization who generally don’t feel supported.
By putting the needs of those who are usually last, first, leaders present an environment of care and support to their teams.
Give attention to those who don’t normally get it and you’ll create a supportive atmosphere. Impactmakers are motivated to support a great cause. You need a great organization to do that. It starts with the leader’s thought but ends with their needs.
Spoke Folk and Servant Leadership
I am writing this entry just a few days away from traveling to South Dakota in the United States for an annual Spoke Folk tour (and I’m extra excited after missing last year due to the COVID-19 pandemic).
Spoke Folk is a mission trip that teach high school and college age students (and us adults too) how to be missionaries in their daily lives. We meet a group of twenty to forty people in a state and spend a few days together living at a church before touring the state for a week performing a concert in different towns.
The trips are relevant because the leadership it takes to make one of these tours happen is special. It’s the type of leadership that takes a lot of giving of ones time and effort to ensure the safety and success of the group. The nature of the living conditions and activities make leading by example much more effective than giving orders. It is also done out of the goodness of one’s heart and not for personal gain. Although, one could argue that the satisfaction of a successful trip is one of the greatest gifts that one could receive.
A Spoke Folk leader is simply one of the team members who has experience with the trips before and is willing to give of themselves for the embitterment of the group.
The Momma Duck
I hate ducks. This isn’t a good start of a section in a blog that often stresses kindness. Hate is a strong word and so maybe I’m guilty of a little sensationalism but there is something about the ignorance of the South Florida ducks that gets to me. However, there is something that I do admire about a family of ducks. It’s trust.
That family of ducks that you have had to stop to allow to cross the road has a special care for each other and each member knows it. They trust each other implicitly.
There are no questions as to how the sense of trust is developed. It all stems from the momma duck. She leads the family by taking every step that she expects her ducklings to make. She goes first with her safety considered last.
I saw a an amazing video recently of a family of ducks that got into a little trouble. The last duckling in the line of its family fell through a drain cover. Immediately upon realizing what had happened, the whole family stop waddling (a cute waddle of course-wait, I thought I hated these animals…). The duckling directly in front of the lost one looked at the mom as if to say, “Should I go?”. She signaled, “Yes!”. There is no way that momma could have fit through the grate. But, she had taught her kids to sacrifice their own safety for their siblings. Ultimately, a few of the ducklings went in after their siblings and I don’t know what ended up happening. Sadly, their family may have been split up permanently. But, it was a heartwarming sight to see the care that the family had for one another.
6 Giving Leadership Characteristics
Whether you are a Spoke Folk leader or a momma duck there are some important giving leadership characteristics that you should have.
Compassion - a giving leader cares deeply about the well-being of the people that she or he leads. The people “under” them are anything but less than they. In fact, to the leader, they are more important than themself.
Desire - a giving leader desires to give. There is no reluctance. They would feel wrong if they didn’t.
Knowledge - a giving leader understands their role and how it works. They realize that the position they hold only works by them giving of themselves for the embitterment of the team. Consequently, they also know that in giving they truly receive.
Integrity - the giving leader is honest, right, and forthcoming in all of their actions. Nothing is done for selfish or immoral gain. All actions are with noble intuition.
Flawed - this might be the most unrecognized characteristic of a giving leader. They are giving because they know how a healthy relationship between flawed humans works. They are not perfect and neither is anyone else on their team. Thus, they MUST work together to find success.
Humility - a giving leader is incredibly humble. She or he has a confidence that the group will be successful combined with a fear that any individual will fail on their own. Therefore, they are most fearful of their own failure related to isolation. They believe that their work is impossible without the support of a great team.
2 Ways About It
This entry explains ways that leaders must give of themselves to be successful. However, one of the important points was that leadership is about specialty, not variety. The best leaders have an area that they are most effective at. This means that we shouldn’t be leaders in every situation.
There are times that even the best leaders have to take a step back.
An example of this points back to Spoke Folk. In my opinion, my friend Jeremy Becker is the best Youth Activities Director and Director of Christian Education (DCE) that the world has ever known. He’s flawed. Perfect. Jeremy, in all his experience at doing his job, has organized thousands of youth events. He has even been on multiple Spoke Folk tours (and will have attended the one in South Dakota referenced above) but he elects to take a step back for Spoke Folk. He has not attended 20 plus tours like some of the other leaders have. I know that he could lead a tour if he wanted or needed to but he has respectfully become a duckling for those trips. In fact, he’s an amazing duckling in those roles because he knows what it’s like to be momma duck in other situations.
Simple math tells us that there needs to be more followers than leaders. Momma duck always seems to have a litter with multiple babies. This means that we all need to learn more about how to lead “with” giving than lead “by” giving.
If you are in a leadership position you can use the above characteristics to help you lead. You lead “by” them. However, you will be a team member more frequently in life. In those cases, or even in those that are not related to a team or organization, consider giving as the first action you take in a given situation. You lead “with” it.
The second meaning is actually applied more than the first.
Leading WITH Giving
Natural human instinct to protect oneself. We covered the “fight or flight” response in E-Impact @$!#%$!.
Once you get past the need need to fight or flee (which in most cases of daily life is in a fraction of a second), you can immediately think to give.
I encourage you to think primarily in a giving fashion. I use that language because it should be the most important. It is your “primary” purpose-to give.
As I was getting into the heart of this entry, we were driving over the Mackinac Bridge which connects the down state part of Michigan and the Upper Peninsula (to where we made a short getaway). It costs $4 for a car to go over the bridge. My mother-in-law, being the giving person that she is, decided to pay the toll for the traveler (luckily it wasn’t a Mack truck, haha) behind her. I am not sure what made her do that but she was definitely leading with giving.
Rather than concern herself with how much of her money she was spending she thought it would be kind gesture to give to the person behind her. In a way, she was leading “by” (because we were going over the bridge first) and “with” giving at the same time. It was truly a “random act of kindness”.
Other ways to lead with giving are to offer someone the last parking spot or item at the supermarket. You can find or purchase something for someone on your next trip to the store or even a vacation. I saw someone give up their seat on a plane for a person who was going to be separated from their family due to overbooking (this was prior to the gate agent announcing a financial benefit).
Give to Live
I find giving to be the best living. It promotes collaboration, friendship, and kindness. It’s making a positive impact just by our thought processes. Remember how you may not change the world but you can change the world for one. This is giving.
Just like anything new, it can take some adjusting to. It requires practice, but can be a freeing habit. Once you are accustomed to leading “with” giving, your stresses are less and your personal anxiety subsides. You realize that everything you try to do for yourself doesn’t necessarily improve your situation. It is improving the situation of others that makes our relationships better and our emotional lives healthier.
A life that was worth livin’ is one in which you have given.