Build a Bigger Table Instead of a Fence: How to Invite People In
This will be the last E-Impact entry of the year, but it will certainly not be the last chance for impact. It’s a sign of progress more than a sign of conclusion.
So what is progress?
“Forward movement toward a destination”
“Advance or development toward a better, more complete, or more modern condition”
I’d say the latter of these two definitions is the most appropriate for this scenario.
The Journey
If we consider that impact is a journey and not an isolated event, we can apply the concept of progress.
The key is acknowledging that we need to take the journey. We have to consciously choose to make positive change part of our life.
It is very energizing when you make that commitment. You feel a sense of excitement. You have a new initiative and you’re ready to make a difference.
First of all, it is progress to even make the commitment. But once you are on the journey, it takes continuous effort to make additional progress. This can be challenging once you pass the initial excitement and energy.
Making your journey a joy is a writing for another time, but keep that in mind.
Noticing Progress
As you move along your journey, there will be moments when you find progress. This can be a great feeling. These moments are the times when impact can seem like an isolated incident. You have a tangible or easily understood “win” (see Celebrate Your Daily Wins) and it feels good. Hopefully, it also motivated you and pushed your farther forward.
A few years ago I decided to take up the drums. I have talked about my lack of musical prowess before (see the November 24th E-Impact Blog entry about education). Is this a Strength and/or Weakness now?
When I decided to take this leap (a journey, but not necessarily for impact), I knew there would be some challenges. I have no desire to be a professional drummer and I have taken the pressure off of myself. I do not have a need to perform and it’s been fun to play at church occasionally, but outside of that I could be terrible and no one would care or even notice (save my wife who is protected by an electronic drum set that has volume control).
I never had intentions of quitting. I don’t think there is anything outside of serious injury (I do have some tendonitis) that would cause me to stop. There was a point though where I was relieved. After having spent about four months working through really basic drills (with the help of YouTube), I reached a much needed baseline. At that point, I knew I had a basic level of competence that would enable me to participate in a much wider variety of drumming activities. It was like I was suddenly let out of a cage and given the chance to roam among various rhythms, rudiments, and sounds. I knew I had made progress.
Progressive Steps
You’ll likely find patterns as your moments of progress add up. Humans are habitual.
You know I love psychology. Read "The Habitual Brain: How Routine Action and Thought Are The Structure of Life" by Alva Noë.
I wholeheartedly agree with this:
"A habit-free existence would be a robotic existence; it would be one in which nothing could be taken for granted.”
Also notice the plug for habits being a curse at the end.
You will react to times of progress the same way and become more efficient as time goes on. Before you know it, your system will be great. The groundbreaking steps will come fast and you may find exponential growth. Hopefully, it does not become overwhelming.
My drumming has continued to get better. I know what to work on, how to work on it, and when I should. I know my body and when it needs a rest. See the consistency or overkill section from last week’s E-Impact Blog entry about clutter. Your impact project will find the same intersection of ability and efficiency.
In Community or Enclosure?
Your success and system will lead to important decisions.
We are always inclined to talk about impact. However, there is a bonus here. The following can apply to success in all areas of life (business, athletics, creativity, etc.).
It is essential to open your success to others. Don’t hide it. Guard it wisely, but in stewardship, not selfishness.
It could be easy to keep what you have created to yourself or just a close group of people. But I believe we have been given talents that lead to successes. Those successes should be shared for the betterment of humanity.
Build a bigger table for your feast, not a bigger fence.
Five Fences
It’s natural to build fences around what you have created. You may have a fence around your house. You probably lock your house and car when you are not in them. You bathe in sanitizer before and after touching something. You have a special case for your laptop and golf clubs.
We have a need to protect as humans. That need is good when applied in the above situations. But it often goes too far.
Here are five habits of selfish fence building:
Hoarding - You have an abundance of something and treat it like a shortage. Share.
Other people can benefit from what you cannot use alone.
Measuring - You are more concerned about the amount of what you have than its usefulness.
You have. Everyone can benefit.
Comparing - You are matching your amount (or success) with that of your neighbor (“keeping up with the Jones’”).
Someone else may also have, but a third party doesn’t.
Worrying - You are acting with a scarcity mindset and may never be satisfied. Remember, it’s a journey.
You’re concerned because you know what it is to have. Some people don’t know what it’s like to feel that.
Predicting - You are attempting to know the future as opposed to appreciating the present. Invite others to join now.
We’ll never know the future, but what you have now can be used for impact. Take action.
It is not a personal shortcoming to have exercised these actions. It’s natural and they can often be helpful in many aspects of life. Here though, we are applying them to a progressive impact journey. Use them wisely.
Ten Tables
The abundance mindset should be a safe place to operate from. These days we have a tendency to present the abundance mindset (How was my most recent Instagram post?), but do we act on it?
I recently read an article about sharing your philanthropy called Should You Present Your Charitable Side? It took four people to write (Deborah Small, Jonathan Berman, Emma Levine, Alixandra Barasch) and was very well written. It triggered some interesting ideas in my mind.
I fall on the “show it” side. And I believe that, as impactmakers, this is the place we should live. We are not concerned about our image or what people think. The naysayers will be there, but we are looking forward. I just spent over five hundred words on “progress”. What’s next?
It’s ok to show it as long are your abundance is used for good.
Here are ten habits of selfless table sharing (twice as many as the fences!):
Including - You make sure other people are involved.
Don’t be afraid to have others participate.
Advocating - You work to benefit others’ cause.
Fight for those who are capable but not being given the chance.
Inviting - You ask others to participate.
Give those that are hesitant reason to be involved.
Planning - You prepare for success.
Understand that things don’t just happen. Develop a system to benefit others.
Giving - You don’t hold on to everything you have.
Provide for those in need from your abundance.
Supporting - You help where you can.
Identify where your abundance will help an alternate effort.
Creating - You build things to make a difference.
Where there is a will there is a way. Use what you have to make something work.
Loving - You care for others.
Show people compassion. There are many ways to do this.
Searching - You look for things that will make an impact.
Don’t stop because something is missing. Find it.
Trusting - You believe in others and don’t stunt their growth.
Show people that you are confident in their abilities.
The common theme here is that these things are hard. I never said impactmaking was easy!
As you progress, make your table bigger. Have you ever seen one of those tables that have an adjustable size?
You can see the divisions where pieces were added or subtracted.
This beauty has been serving four to eight for over forty years!
See the places where the expander slides in?
Think of your table of impact like that. Make more room for more people. I suggest starting this habit early so that you are used to it deep into your journey. It should be impact (business) as usual no matter how far along you are.
The Big Commitment
This seems like quite the sacrifice. It is. But it’s rewarding beyond belief.
Are you the type of person that commits to the things that you have to or the things that you want?
I am convinced that we all will have commitments regardless of whether we chose them or they are given. Why not chose? Confirm that you can operate within your bailiwick. I know, easier said than done, but easier than working outside your sphere of expertise.
Here is my number one reason why I suggest choosing. You can decide if you will operate from a selfless or selfish perspective. Obviously, I hope you choose the former.
I have experienced countless examples of people who have been put in desperate situations where they have to operate out of selfishness. Counter to that, I have very limited examples of people who have been pushed into service and end up living a consistent life of selflessness.
If nothing else, the sheer ability to choose between the two concentrations should be enough to motivate you.
Beyond that choice is the blessing that is direction and purpose. You will find yourself giving effort towards something you identify as great.
A big commitment is a great way to take charge and lead the life you define. It’s empowering.
Progress is best in numbers.
Lower your fence. Build a bigger table.